‘Claire.’

‘I’m going to need swimming goggles. I think Billy’s got some in his room. I’ll just go up and—’

‘CLAIRE!’

Mum slips around me, blocking my exit from the kitchen.

‘Claire, sit down.’

‘I can’t. I need to put the dinner on. I need to—’

‘Claire, please. Please sit down, love.’ She gazes up at me, pain etched into her soft, lined skin. ‘Talk to me.’

‘I can’t. If I do I’ll cry.’

‘And?’ Mum rubs her hand up and down my upper arm.

‘And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.’

‘Oh, sweetheart.’

‘I thought I’d found Billy,’ I say as she wraps me in her arms and I slump against her. ‘I thought the nightmare was over. But it’s not. It just carries on.

She squeezes me tightly. ‘We’ll find him, Claire. We’ll bring him back home.’

Mum left an hour ago. She was going to stay until Mark or one of the kids got back but then Dad rang to say that his car battery had died and he was stuck at B&Q and could she collect him. She told him to get a taxi and they’d sort out the car later but I insisted she go to his rescue. I reassured her that I could go over to Liz’s if I was feeling wobbly. She left, begrudgingly, and gave me an extra-long squeeze at the door.

My phone bleeps. It’s a text message from Mark.

Are you still at your mum’s? How are you feeling? I’m going to try and get home a bit earlier than normal. Text me if you feel unwell.

I text back.

Just got home. I went to the train station to hand out some fliers.

My phone bleeps almost immediately.

With your mum?

Yes.

Who’s with you now?

No one. I’m fine though.

Don’t go anywhere. Jake or Kira should be back soon and I’m on my way.

There’s no need to hurry, I type back. The last thing we need is for him to put his foot down and end up having an accident. Honestly. I’ll be fine.

I met Mark in a nightclub in town. I was eighteen, he was nineteen and he crossed the dance floor to talk to me, shoulders back, all South Bristol swagger with an attitude to match. He told me he was going to become a policeman. ‘I’ve passed the competency tests, the fitness test and the medical. I’ve just got the second interview to go and I’m in.’