A train rumbles on the tracks, deep and bassy in the distance as I stumble through the dense wood. A bird squawks as it flies out of a bush, then falls silent as it soars into the air. I hear Billy swear loudly. He’s managed to get in. I quicken my pace, crashing through the bushes and swerving around trees. It’s pitch black away from the headlights of the road and I can barely make out my hands as I swipe at branches and leaves. The wood seems to go on for ever but the fear that Billy will catch and stop me propels me on. And then I break through the trees and my left foot slips as the ground drops away and I fall, tumbling into a bracken-covered ditch between the wood and rail track. The undergrowth is so tall it reaches up to my throat and scratches at my hands, arms and legs as I scramble up the bank and into the bushes that separate the ditch from the train track.

‘Shit!’ Billy shouts and I hear the sound of branches snapping and leaves rustling as he escapes from the wood. ‘Bloody bag, caught in the bloody … someone needs to cut this shit. It’s a jungle.’

The rain is falling heavier now and my hair is clinging to my cheeks.

I can still remember the day I found out that Dad had killed himself like it was yesterday. I was in maths and Miss Ramdas from student support knocked on the door and asked Mr Price if she could talk to me. I was really pleased – any excuse to get out of algebra – but I freaked out when I saw the look on her face. It wasn’t a ‘you’re about to get a bollocking’ look. It was an ‘I feel really sorry for you’ grimace.

When I got to her office Mum was standing by the window with her best mate Sharon. They were hugging and Mum was crying. She opened her eyes when I walked in and she gave this huge gasp and started crying even harder. That’s when Miss Ramdas sat me down and said she had some bad news.