I don’t say anything. I’m watching the street, waiting for Jake’s white van to pull up. I’ve started to spend longer and longer at college so I don’t have to spend time alone with Billy but I was caught out today. I thought the others would be back but Mark’s not here, Jake texted to say he’s working late and Claire popped round to Liz’s half an hour ago. It’s just me and Billy, alone in the house.

‘Let me see it again.’

I feel him lift up my hair. ‘Fuck off.’ I try to swipe his hand away but he catches me by the wrist and glares down at me.

‘Don’t you ever tell me to fuck off. I can look at that tattoo whenever I want. Hey!’ My skin stings as he rips the plaster from the back of my neck. ‘What the hell’s this?’

‘What do you think it is?’

‘Oh, no.’ He shakes his head slowly from side to side and his eyes narrow. ‘Oh, no, no, no, no. That wasn’t part of the deal, Kira. You don’t get to cover it up. Or is this your sick little way of telling me you’ve changed your mind about ending things?’ He slips a hand under my armpit and squeezes my boob.

I knock his hand away and try to twist free but he holds me fast.

‘Kira,’ he says as he nuzzles his face against mine, his stubble scraping my cheek. ‘You were the best fuck I’ve ever had.’

I want to close my eyes and block him out, just as I have every time he’s forced me to have sex with him, but I’m scared Jake will pull up in the van and see us at the window.

I thought the shit was going to hit the fan when Lloyd saw us in the park in January. I was in the kitchen the next day, Googling how to hitchhike from Bristol to Edinburgh on my phone, when Liz came bursting in saying that Lloyd had walked out on her. He’d left the night before after telling her that their marriage was over. He wasn’t going to the pub when he stopped and stared at us, he was walking to his car at the end of the street. I didn’t believe Liz when she said he was gone for good. I thought he’d be back. Each time a black car parks outside Liz’s house I feel sick. But he hasn’t come back. He hasn’t even rung her. Not according to the conversations I’ve overheard between Claire and Liz. But what if he does? What if he tells her what he saw? My life will be over. I can’t keep living like this, waking up each day wondering if today is the day that Jake finds out what I’ve done.