‘There’d be enough space for her too. They pretty much spend all their time in his bedroom as it is from what you’ve said. And they’d have more space.’

‘But the house would be so empty without them. And besides, I want everything to be exactly the same as it was when Billy left. That way we can just go back to normal when he returns.’

My best friend gives me a long, searching look. She wants to comment but something is holding her back.

‘What is it?’

She shakes her head. ‘Doesn’t matter.’

‘Yes, it does. What were you going to say?’

‘I just think …’ She looks away and rubs her fingers over her lips. I’ve never seen her look this uncomfortable before. ‘I just think that maybe you’re putting your life on hold for something that might not happen. I think you should … prepare yourself for bad news. It’s been six months, Claire.’

I stand up abruptly. ‘I think I should go.’

‘Oh God.’ Liz stands up too. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything. Are you okay? You’ve gone very pale.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘I’ll make us some more tea. Are you sure you won’t have some chocolate? You look—’

‘I’m going to be sick.’ I sprint from the room, one hand to my mouth, and only just make it up the stairs and into the bathroom before my stomach convulses and I dry retch over the toilet.

‘Claire?’ Liz says from behind me. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’ll be fine. I just need some water.’

As I twist the cold tap something in the bin by the basin catches my eye.

‘No!’ Liz shouts as I reach for the newspaper. ‘Claire, don’t! Don’t read that.’

I turn my back on her and angle myself into the corner of the room as I unfold the newspaper. Billy’s name is on the front cover.

BRAWL OVER MISSING BILLY

There’s a photo beneath the blaring headline: me, wide-eyed and frantic with Mark at my shoulder. I’m reaching across the journalists for Jake who has his head against the wall, his hands balled into fists on either side of his face.

Pandemonium broke out at the six-month appeal for missing Knowle schoolboy Billy Wilkinson yesterday when his mother, Claire Wilkinson (40), was interrupted during her message to camera as Jake Wilkinson (19), the missing boy’s older brother, burst into the council offices. Wilkinson, who was visibly intoxicated, was heard to shout that he had a right to speak. His mother Claire and father Mark (42) abandoned their appeal to intervene and Mark Wilkinson was heard to exclaim, ‘Get him out of here! Get him out of here!’ Mrs Wilkinson looked visibly upset as the family was bundled out of the room.