Although I’ve told my parents about finding myself in Weston, Gloucester Road and a car park in the centre of town I haven’t mentioned the photos I took of Mark or the knife I found. I’m not ready to tell them everything.

The knife.

At some point I have to go home and get it. I need to take it to the police – but not yet. Today has drained me and I couldn’t cope with the fallout.

‘Claire?’ Dad says. ‘Do you know what’s causing the blackouts?’

‘Yes, sorry. Sonia thinks they are caused by stress. She says I’ve been bottling up my feelings.’

‘You were always like that as a girl,’ Mum says, looking to my dad for a nod. ‘Always keeping yourself to yourself. We didn’t have the first clue that you were being bullied at school until we went in for parents’ evening. Did we, Derek?’

My dad shakes his head.

‘You know you can always talk to us, Claire.’ Mum reaches for my hand and clamps it between hers. ‘There’s nothing you can’t tell your dad and me. We’re always here for you. Aren’t we, Derek?’

‘Anything you need, love, anything at all.’

‘I got such a shock,’ Mum says, ‘when Sonia rang me using your phone. She said you were too upset to speak and could I come and collect you? What’s wrong, love?’ She gives me a searching look but I’m not sure if I can answer her. They’re my parents. They love Billy as much as I do. I don’t want to hurt them.

‘Come on, love,’ Dad says.

‘Remember what your therapist said. You mustn’t keep things to yourself, Claire. You’ll make yourself ill. Tell us what made you so upset.’

I look down at my hand. It’s starting to throb under the weight of her grip. ‘I told her I thought Billy was dead.’

‘Oh!’ Mum’s hands fly up to her face.

‘Oh no, no, no.’ Dad shakes his head. ‘You mustn’t be saying things like that, love. You need to stay positive. We’re still hopeful. Aren’t we, Maggie?’

Mum doesn’t answer him. She’s still staring at me, her fingers quivering against her lips.

Dad reaches round the table and puts a hand on my shoulder. ‘I know you had a shock when that nasty piece of work came out with … with what he said … but if the police haven’t confirmed it then …’ He tails off, doubting the words he’s saying even as they come out of his mouth.