She listens silently as I tell her what happened after I read the message on Jake’s phone. Almost everything. I don’t mention the blood or the knife.

‘Then,’ I say, ‘when Kira came home I managed to have a quick word with her before she went up to Jake’s room. I told her he was in a bad way. That he felt guilty about Billy’s disappearance but that didn’t give him the right to talk to her the way he had. I said that if he spoke to her like again she needed to tell me.’

‘How did she respond?’

‘She looked shocked.’

‘Did you ask her about the night Billy disappeared?’

‘Yes. She said it happened exactly as Jake had described. She said she’d been angry too, that Jake would believe that she’d cheat on him. That’s why she wouldn’t talk to him.’

‘How do you feel, Claire? Knowing more about that night?’

‘Confused.’ I run a hand over my face. The window on the other side of the room is open a few inches but the air feels too thick to breathe. ‘If Billy did run away there were a lot of reasons why, not just because he was in trouble with the police and us.’

‘And how do you feel now, about spending that night at your mum’s?’

‘I don’t know.’ My head is pounding so I close my eyes.

‘What is it, Claire? What’s wrong?’

‘I just … there are so many things going round in my head and none of it makes sense. I thought the fugues would stop after I started seeing you but the last one was terrifying.’

‘Because of where you were?’

Do I tell her? I didn’t tell Mark about my blackout when he came home. I don’t know why. Maybe because there’s a tiny part of me that’s worried he’s lying about the photo album? What if there is more evidence that links him with Billy’s disappearance? But what? None of it makes sense. Mark loved Billy. He’d shout at him and come down on him hard but he’s not a cruel or violent man. So why is part of me so suspicious? What is it that I don’t know?

‘Claire?’ Sonia says. ‘What is it?’

I look at her through my fingers. If I tell her about the knife will she inform the police? My GP? Could she have me sectioned if she thinks I’m dangerous?

‘If I …’ I falter. ‘If I tell you there’s a chance I’ve committed a crime will you tell the police?’

‘A chance?’

I sit forward in my chair. ‘Will you tell the police?’

For the first time since I sat down Sonia looks ruffled. ‘I am not legally obliged to report any crimes that my clients may confess to but it does present me with an ethical dilemma.’