‘I know, and I’ve always found that weird. When me and Billy were at primary school the other kids would come in sometimes and they’d tell everyone how they’d been walloped the night before because they’d stolen something or talked back to their parents or whatever. It wasn’t just one kid – loads of kids in my class were hit by their parents and I didn’t get it. Me and Billy answered you and Dad back all the time. We played up. We didn’t do what we were told. Billy even nicked money out of your purse one time and—’

‘I didn’t know that!’

‘He was sneaky like that.’ He smiles. ‘We both were. We were little shits, just like the kids in school who got smacked by their parents, but you two never touched us.’

‘That’s because our parents hit us and we swore we’d never do the same to our kids.’

‘Me and Billy – neither of us were angels.’

‘I know that,’ I say softly, ‘but I still love you. There’s nothing either of you could do that I couldn’t forgive.’

‘Seriously? So if I told you that Billy had killed someone or I’d raped someone you’d still forgive that?’

I stare at him in horror. ‘What are you trying to tell me?’

‘Nothing that bad … but … I …’ His chin drops to his chest. ‘I said and did some horrible things the night Billy ran away.’

I put a hand on the door frame. ‘Like what?’

‘After Dad went to the pub and you went to Gran’s, Billy started dicking about with his lighter, holding it under a cushion and saying he was going to burn the house down to pay Dad back. I lost it. I told him that everything Dad had said was right. That he was a loser and an embarrassment to the family.’

‘That’s no worse than the things your dad said.’

‘It gets worse. Billy told me I was going out with the town bike and that everyone was laughing at me behind my back. I lost it and I hit him. I punched him in the face. I split his lip.’

I try to cover my shock with my hand but I’m too slow and he hears me gasp.

‘Kira heard the whole thing.’ He turns to look at me. ‘She was standing at the top of the stairs. I ran up to her, thinking she’d thank me for sticking up for her, but she just … she just sort of froze, so I asked her if it was true. She didn’t say anything. She just stood there.

‘I was so angry I went into my room and cracked open a bottle of whisky and necked it. Next thing I knew it was morning and Kira was in bed beside me and I was so hungover I could hardly open my eyes.’