She fixed her eyes on a spot where there was a hole in the ice, just below the bridge. If she climbed onto the railing and jumped quickly, she would disappear before they could stop her. It was an enticing thought, but she knew she wouldn’t do it. Instead she put her arm around Katya and murmured a panikhida. The children gathered around, listening to the unfamiliar words, gazing at her face. She shivered when she thought that if it hadn’t been for them, there was no question that she would have taken her own life and followed Peter to the grave.

* * *

When they got back to the apartment, there was a letter slipped under the door with Maria’s name on it. She opened it and saw it was a handwritten note; the signature read Yuri Koshelev. Annushka’s husband.

I’m sorry I was not able to help your husband, it said, and extend my deepest condolences. There is another matter on which I need to speak with you urgently. I will call on you very soon.

Maria was baffled by this, and alarmed. Was she about to be arrested and he had come to warn her? She had refused to admit to “lack of vigilance,” as her older children had done, even though she knew Peter would have urged her to. Should she pack her bags and flee? She did not have the energy. Whatever happened next, she would just have to endure. Even if it led to her death.

Chapter 38

Leningrad, March 1938

WHEN MARIA TURNED INTO HER ROAD ON THE WAY home from the factory one evening and saw a black NKVD van parked outside her apartment block, she considered running in the other direction. But she couldn’t; Irina would already be at home with the younger children and she had to protect them.

She walked on, feet dragging, her throat tight with fear. As she neared the van, the front passenger door swung open, and a man’s voice said, “Get in. Quickly, before anyone sees you.”

She glanced inside and saw Yuri, Annushka’s husband. There were no other officers in the front of the van but she couldn’t see into the dreaded back section. She was petrified but had no choice. She lowered herself into the seat and pulled the door shut.

Yuri switched on the engine and drove down the road without a word.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked, trying to control the tremor in her voice, clasping her hands in her lap so he wouldn’t see them shaking.

“To a quiet street nearby. I thought it best your neighbors don’t see me talking to you.” He gave her a quick look.