Guilt wraps its way around my heart and pulls tight. It’s a physical pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. This time, I am to blame.

‘I think maybe this really is a conversation we’d best continue at the station, don’t you, Mr Lewis?’ DC King says.

Alex nods.

‘Would you like to come with us, please?’

I know it’s not a question, not really. Alex will be going with them. In the back of an unmarked car.

‘No!’ Ciara says, and I look up at her. ‘This isn’t really necessary, is it? It isn’t right. Alex says when he went in to see my father he was barely breathing. Gargling. And then he stopped. Alex didn’t call for help, but you said my father was suffocated. All the evidence pointed to that. It pointed to someone putting something over his head and smothering him.’

The two officers exchange looks.

‘I didn’t do that,’ Alex says. ‘I didn’t hold anything over his face. I swear. He was taking very shallow breaths. I should’ve called for help, but I was so angry I didn’t. I should’ve. I should’ve turned the evidence over to the police. I know he was very ill, but he should’ve faced some sort of justice. Proper justice.’

‘We really should continue this at the station,’ DC Black says as he starts to guide Alex out of the house, and I watch my husband being led towards a police car.

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Ciara

Now

Heidi looks broken. More broken than before. She stares at the doorway, as if expecting Alex to come back in at any time.

‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ she says eventually, looking downwards.

‘I’m sure the police will find out what really happened,’ I tell her. ‘They will be able to see that Alex is telling the truth. All this has to have a rational explanation.’

Although I’m not sure what it could be. The coroner can’t have got it so wrong. I wonder, for a moment, if Alex has told us the truth, or is he covering up something else? My gut tells me he’s genuine, though. His story rings true, as does his fear and his sadness.

‘Let’s focus on what we can do to help,’ I tell her. ‘Let’s see if we can find Joe’s diary. If we can find that, and get it to the police, it could help in some way.’

‘Do you think Kathleen or Marie took the diaries? Or Stella?’ Heidi says.

I shake my head. ‘Stella definitely didn’t. I’d know. Possibly Kathleen or Mum.’

‘Do you think the police might have taken them?’

I shake my head again. ‘If they did, they would have told us, or they would have found what he’d written by now. I’m sure of it.’

‘But maybe we should call them. Just to check.’

She is agitated, wringing her hands together and scratching her arm so vigorously, I’m worried she might break the skin.

‘I’ll call them,’ I tell her. ‘And I’ll call Mum and Kathleen, too.’