‘Joe’s very set in his ways, you know,’ I said.

‘Actually, I don’t know. The man’s a virtual stranger to me.’

I felt chastised again and with each answer from her I could feel myself shrinking back into the little girl I was all those years ago who was afraid to speak.

‘I’m sorry things have been difficult for you,’ Alex said, and it took me a moment to register that he was talking to Ciara and not me. I realised then, as she looked him up and down, that I hadn’t even introduced them.

‘This is Alex, Heidi’s husband,’ Stella said, getting in ahead of me with the formalities.

‘Oh God, yes, sorry,’ I said. ‘I should’ve said.’

‘I was able to figure it out myself,’ Ciara said, looking at me with something akin to disappointment on her face.

Why was I so useless, so socially inept?

Alex spoke, making up for my tied tongue and awkwardness. ‘Look, we appreciate this isn’t easy. But we want you to know you’re welcome here any time you want. If you want to spend more time with your father. We can get you a key. Heidi is here most days at the moment, helping, but if you’d rather have time alone with him then I’m sure Heidi wouldn’t mind.’

‘Can Heidi not speak for herself?’ Ciara asked.

‘I can,’ I answered, blushing at having my social ineptitude called out so openly. ‘But what Alex has said, it’s true. Whatever you need …’

‘I don’t need any of this,’ Ciara had said, waving her hand around, signifying the house around her and the entire situation. I watched Stella rub her hand, tenderly, soothing her. ‘I need to think about it. I’ll be in touch.’

Now, with Alex beside me in bed, I can’t stop replaying the entire conversation over and over in my head and forensically picking it all apart. Her words. Her tone. The looks she shared with Stella, and Alex, and me.

‘You don’t think Ciara was sharp? Nasty and bitchy?’ I ask him just as Lily produces a momentous burp that rattles her whole body.

‘Not overly, Heidi,’ he says. ‘Given the circumstances. I’m sure she doesn’t know her right from her left at the moment.’

‘You really don’t think she was off with me?’

He shakes his head. ‘No, I don’t. Honestly. I think she’s a person dealing with some pretty major stuff and it’s clearly stressing her out. But I don’t think it’s necessarily aimed at you, personally. Try not to overthink it.’

He takes Lily from me and lays her in her cot before climbing back into bed and switching off the bedside lamp. ‘I’m worn out,’ he yawns, turning onto his side away from me. ‘Try to get some sleep. It will all feel a little more manageable in the morning.’

He drifts off within seconds – I listen to the pattern of his breathing change. I wonder, how can he not have noticed how she was with me? Her resentment dripped from her every word. I’m not overthinking. I’m not always just overthinking.