I know, I know, I might as well be in a horror movie saying “I’ll be right back.”

10.

The Ferris wheel on the promenade loomed overhead, and trilling bells merged with the pop songs playing on each ride. I shifted from one foot to the other, waiting on Ruby, wondering if I should buy us both tickets or if we were meant to split it. Hannah and I tended to just work off who had the best cash flow in the moment. How did dating work when you hadn’t known the person practically your whole life? No one prepared me for this. I bought the tickets just so I could stop wondering about who was supposed to buy the tickets.

I spotted Ruby long before she saw me. She was wearing a pair of cropped colorful harem pants with a blue cropped tank top that had embroidery around the neckline, and she’d paired this ensemble with tan ankle boots. An inch of squishy stomach peeked out and she looked cute and bohemian and I wanted to run up and kiss her. I didn’t. I ducked out of sight before she could see me, to avoid the awkward walk where you see each other but you’re too far apart to wave or say hello. I waited until she approached the kiosk, then snuck up and tapped her on the shoulder. She started but smiled when she saw me.

“Hi.” She waved even though she was a foot away from me.

“Hi.” I waved back. “Is this weird?”

“A little.” She nodded. “But we’ll get over it.”

I snuck a glance at her a couple of times as we made our way through the throng at the entrance, which made me bump into the same middle-aged man twice. For the first time in my life, I had no idea what to say. We queued for drinks and I racked my brain for conversation starters but came up empty. I bought a half liter of Coke, because it was boiling out, and I gulped most of it down in one go. The heat wave hadn’t abated, even though historically, it usually ended as soon as the exam season was over.

Sipping on the rest of the Coke felt like a shield from having nothing to say. I’d never needed to make first-date conversation before. Hannah and I had been best friends for ten years before we went on a “date.” Our friendship and our relationship were so blurry and melted together. Another reason why we could never have been friends after. How would us going to the cinema as friends have felt any different than going as girlfriends?

Then, like she was an evil spirit in a horror film, thinking about Hannah summoned her into existence. Her glossy black hair next to Izzy’s blonde curls bobbed toward us, through a sea of people, like if Jaws was your ex-girlfriend.