Then I realized I’d got sucked into another debate. Dad already knew I hated “asylum horror.” Mum hated it too. She was a therapist, after all. She hated the idea of locking people away from the rest of the world just because they were struggling. She always said that wasn’t compassion or care, it was fear. Was that what we’d done to her? If she’d been here, if she’d been well, she would have shut him down immediately. I wanted her here to say something smart and thoughtful that would make him get quiet and then nod and say you’re right, love. She was so good at that. I wanted her here on my side. But it was just me.

I decided to pull the rip cord on this terrible evening.

“I don’t have time for this. I have to go to someone’s birthday thing,” I said.

“Whose birthday?” Dad eyed me suspiciously. He checked his watch. “It’s kind of late.”

“All right, Grandpa. It’s Ruby’s birthday thing.”

“Who’s Ruby?”

“A girl. A friend. She’s new.”

I thought for sure he’d put his foot down. Then I’d have to sneak out and it would be a whole thing. We’d already played that game last week; I wasn’t ready for another round. Instead, Dad got a twinkle in his eye.

“Ohhhh,” he said slowly, “a new ‘friend.’ Ruby, eh?” He winked at me and I felt all my insides cringe.

“Dad, no—”

“Saoirse is a lesbian,” Dad explained meaningfully to Beth, who to her credit didn’t seem to know how to respond to this proclamation. If I was in a better mood I might have joked that genuflection would suffice.

“Dad, Ruby isn’t—”

“Go on, Saoirse, get out of here. Go say hello to Ruby for me.” He said her name in a way that made it sound like “Ruby and Saoirse sitting in a tree” would follow if I didn’t scarper posthaste.

I clenched my teeth to stop from saying something that might devolve into another argument.

“That’s totally the first thing I’ll do. Tell her that my father who she’s never met says hello. That’s not weird at all.”

“Ah now”—he grinned goofily—“I suppose your old dad will be the last thing on your mind when you see her. Young love and all that.”

“Please stop.” I shuddered.

Beth gave me a meek wave. Dad yelled after me that he still had some good points to make about the film Gothika. I slammed the door behind me.

Good thing I’d done my eyeliner after all.

6.