I couldn’t speak, I just nodded at Nora and she left me standing in the reception wiping tears on my sleeve.

21.

(Unfortunately not) 3. Karaoke. Where one or both people reveal their hidden singing talent or lack thereof (as seen in My Best Friend’s Wedding, 500 Days of Summer).

I paced the living room, alternating between rubbing the scar on the palm of my hand and rubbing the cold sweat off the back of my neck.

Dad was humming as he set a pair of candlesticks on the dinner table. They were sort of incongruous with the papery disposable tablecloth with holly wreaths around the border.

We were half an hour out from the dinner disaster. I mean, Dad and Ruby in one room. I’d spent the last few days trying more and more desperately to get out of it. I told Dad that Ruby canceled, but he didn’t believe me and threatened to call the Quinn house and invite the whole family around. He knew I didn’t want this night to happen, but he thought it was only because I was embarrassed. I told Ruby that Dad had to work, but she suggested coming round anyway if I had an empty house and I couldn’t think of a reason why not, so the next day I said he didn’t have to work after all. She seemed suspicious after that. I’d even stood at the top of the stairs contemplating throwing myself down there, wondering if a broken leg would save me, but knowing how determined they both were, I didn’t see how they’d accept anything less than fatality as an excuse. The only thing I hadn’t given any real consideration to was telling the truth to either of them.

“No talking about anything . . . controversial,” I said. I’d been barking orders at him all day. “Don’t be trying to start a debate or have a ‘serious conversation’ or anything.”

I tried to convince myself it was totally possible to go the whole night without Dad mentioning Mum. Why would he mention her, after all? He stuck her in a care home so he could forget about her.

“This is a casual dinner,” I snapped. “Don’t be asking lots of questions. You don’t need to know her life story, OK? I’m doing you a favor letting her come here and meet you. Don’t make me regret it.”

Dad rolled his eyes dramatically and I got the impression he thought he was impersonating me.

“Thank you, your highness, for the great gift you have bestowed upon me. I shall finish making all the food for your guest and then I will stand in the corner with my face to the wall.”

Dad bowed silently and hobbled off to the kitchen all hunched over like Quasimodo. Mum used to say we had the same sense of humor. She couldn’t have been more wrong.