The silence was so complete I could hear the neighbors’ cat meowing outside. It made me think of Ruby. I’d rather be climbing over another eight-foot wall than having this conversation.

“I know this is a lot of change,” Dad said when he realized I wasn’t going to respond. “You’ll like Beth when you get to know her.”

He actually said that with a straight face.

“Is she moving in here before the wedding?”

Before I move out was what I really meant. I didn’t think I could bear seeing her replace all of Mum’s things with hers. Watch her fill up Mum’s side of the wardrobe. Sleep on her side of the bed.

Dad became very interested in chpping a bit of paint off the doorframe.

“That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.” The strain was starting to show on his face, like a sweaty cop on the bomb squad who’s unsure which wire leads to certain death. “We’re going to have to move.”

For a moment, I thought he meant him and Beth, and I had a glorious image of me swanning around this house by myself.

“We’ve looked at a few places, but we don’t want to decide on one without you.”

“Are you serious?” I heard myself shout. “This is not fair.” The words came out even though I knew they were childish. Even though nothing about this had ever been fair. I stormed past him into the living room. He turned to face me but stayed on the other side of the room.

“Saoirse—”

“This is my home and you’re going to sell it so you can shack up with your new wife somewhere there are no memories of Mum. Is that what she wants or is that so you don’t have to look at Mum’s stuff and feel bad?”

Look, I realize this is the exact opposite of what I was thinking a second ago, but I’m a complicated person, OK? I have an endless capacity to be annoyed by anything Dad does. I didn’t want Beth to move in here, and I didn’t want Dad to move out with her either.

Dad hung back in the arch of the kitchen. When he spoke, his voice was tired and I almost felt sorry for him. But not quite.

“I don’t know how you can think things like that. It’s not like that. We have to move.”

I waited for more information with an expression Dad refers to as my “Carrie” face. The one that looks like I’m about to set the room on fire and watch everything burn. (Word of advice—only watch Carrie with your friends. You think, sure, it’s just another horror movie, but the real horror is watching the period scene with your dad.)