I’d never stayed in a hotel before, so I felt pretty swish with my tiny shampoo and shoehorn. The room was significantly smaller than the bridal suite and the bed took up nearly the entire space, so when we walked in, it might as well have had a neon light over the headboard that said “people have sex here.” It groaned obscenely when I sat on it and I suddenly felt really awkward around Ruby.

Not suffering from the same problem, she sprawled across most of the bed, flipping through the channels already.

“Two Weeks Notice is on, have you seen that one yet?”

“I think I have actually. I don’t really remember it, though.”

“Probably for the best. Hugh Grant, Sandra Bullock both at their peak. Should have been amazing, but it’s one of the only Sandy movies I can’t bear to watch. That and Love Potion No. 9. Trust me, it does not hold up.” She grimaced and changed the channel.

I snuggled in close to her and laid my head on her shoulder.

“How do you feel?” Ruby asked, absently tickling my arm with her hand.

Real feelings.

“Confused.” It was the first word that came to mind. “I’m happy. Beth isn’t the worst and I like my dad . . . mostly, so I want him to be happy. Sort of.”

“But?”

“I think it makes me miss Mum even more. I can’t help feeling like it shouldn’t have ever had to be like this; this is all only happening because of what happened to her and that sucks.” It was futile to feel like that, but it was what it was.

“I think that’s OK.” Ruby kissed my forehead. “It would be strange if you were a hundred percent happy about it. The situation is too complicated for that.”

It would have to be OK. I couldn’t forgive my father for not making the kind of sacrifice I wanted him to. But I still loved him. He wasn’t weak or wrong. He simply wasn’t the kind of perfect hero you see in romantic films. There wasn’t a cure for the thing that broke our family, but I could try to find something good in the new one. Me, Dad, Mum, Beth, and . . .

“And now . . .” I hesitated. Ruby didn’t need to know the next part. She wouldn’t even be around to see it and it was so embarrassing. The thing was, if I wanted everything I said in my grand gesture to be true, I had to tell her. I had to be honest right up until the very last day. So I took a deep breath.

“Beth’s pregnant.”

“What?!”

I winced as she shrieked the word directly into my ear. But I was sort of glad she was shocked and I wasn’t the only one.