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Back The Falling in Love Montage Save as PDF
Chapters (45)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 1.
  4. 2.
  5. 3.
  6. 4.
  7. 5.
  8. 6.
  9. 7.
  10. 8.
  11. 9.
  12. 10.
  13. 11.
  14. 12.
  15. 13.
  16. 14.
  17. 15.
  18. 16.
  19. 17.
  20. 18.
  21. 19.
  22. 20.
  23. 21.
  24. 22.
  25. 23.
  26. 24.
  27. 25.
  28. 26.
  29. 27.
  30. 28.
  31. 29.
  32. 30.
  33. 31.
  34. 32.
  35. 33.
  36. 34.
  37. 35.
  38. 36.
  39. 37.
  40. 38.
  41. Acknowledgments
  42. About the Author
  43. Books by Ciara Smyth
  44. Back Ad
  45. About the Publisher

Don’t you want to know what I got?? ☹

SAOIRSE

No.

OLIVER

6 H1s TWINSIES

SAOIRSE

No.

OLIVER

Party tonight?

On the one hand, I really wanted to get drunk, and getting drunk in a group is socially acceptable. Doing it alone is considered “a problem.” On the other hand, in spite of what I’d told myself before, I still didn’t know if I could handle running into Ruby, even if that’s not something totally over it people worry about. I wanted to ask about her, but I wouldn’t give Oliver the satisfaction. I didn’t know what he knew about the breakup. He and Ruby seemed pretty close and he might tell her I was asking after her.

OLIVER

Ruby won’t be there. She went home for a couple of days so she could pick up her results with her friends. Not back here until the weekend.

SAOIRSE

Fine. I’ll be there but it has nothing to do with her. We’re cool.

OLIVER

Whatever you say. There’ll be plenty of tipsy straight girls for you to crack onto instead.

SAOIRSE

I don’t crack onto anyone. I merely welcome advances.

My reply felt hollow, though. Kissing girls who don’t really fancy you, who just want to see what it’s like (hello, my lips are not actually that different from teenage boy lips. I even have a light moustache when I’m not keeping up with personal grooming) feels very different to kissing someone who touches you like they want more. I pushed those thoughts out of my head. They weren’t helpful. Thinking of Ruby and the feeling of her skin, of her hands on my body, of the way she pulled me close like she wanted to melt together, wasn’t going to get me anywhere good.

Though I’d planned to go and see Mum after getting the results, I didn’t have it in me anymore and I was too raging to even look at her. I was even more angry knowing that I couldn’t go and tell her off, scream and stomp my feet like I did with Dad. So I lay down and tried to ignore the guilt. It wasn’t like she’d notice anyway. She wasn’t exactly always putting my interests first even when she was well.

I forced it out of my head. I put Ruby out of my head too. I put my fight with Dad out of my head and exam results and the future out of my head. I let it all go blank. Feelings are overrated.