“It wasn’t like that. You picked Hannah over me. The ten years we were friends obviously didn’t mean as much to you as the twelve years you were friends with Hannah.”

“That is such bullshit. I was stuck in between my two best friends. If I told you what Hannah told me in confidence, I’d have betrayed her. Not telling you, I betrayed you. She put me in a crappy position.”

“Tell that to Hannah, then.”

“I did. I was cross with her too. I told her I was pissed she put me in position where I had to lie to you or tell on her.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have to, though. Izzy wasn’t done yet.

“You know, maybe I should have told you. At least I think Hannah would have forgiven me. At least I mattered to her enough for that.”

In Izzy’s version of events, I sounded selfish and petty.

Maybe she was right.

“I didn’t really think of it like that.” I struggled to get the next words out. They would expose me and leave me vulnerable. I was starting to think I hated emotional conversations as much as my dad. Maybe that’s what made me say it, finally.

“I thought I didn’t matter to you. All I saw was you putting her first when she broke my heart and it felt like you didn’t care about me,” I said. “I was protecting myself.”

Izzy looked like she wanted to argue, but she paused before speaking.

“I can see why it looked that way,” she said.

“I can see why it looked like I didn’t care about you too.”

We fell silent. My feet begged to run out the door.

“Do you remember when you met me?” Izzy asked after a moment.

“First day of first class?” I guessed.

“No.” She shook her head. “I thought you’d say that. But all that summer we’d been friends. You lived up the street and you hadn’t started school yet.”

I’d forgotten. Mum and Dad and I lived in a rented place before they bought our old house. Mum dragged me up the street to a neighbor’s house because she’d met another mother and they arranged for us to play.

“I remember now. I didn’t want to go to your house, but then when I met you, you took me into that old tree house, the one that wasn’t—”

“Actually in a tree, I know.”

“You gave me an ice lolly and then we were friends.”

“Simpler times.” Izzy laughed. “Then when we started school, you met Hannah. She was my best friend at school and you were my best friend at home, and then as soon as you met each other you became best friends and I was the odd one out.”

“It wasn’t like that,” I said automatically.