“Ruby told me about your little list. It’s adorable,” he drawled. “Who would have guessed you were such an old romantic? Are you making a scrapbook of the experience? Do you write about it in your journal at night? Do you want me to snip off a lock of Ruby’s hair for you?”

“Go away,” I groaned, and I would have hung up then if I hadn’t heard Ruby on the other end.

“Oliver, stop it,” she said to him. “Hi,” she said to me.

“So. I know this call is supposed to be us not wanting to hang up, but actually, I really want to hang up.”

Ruby laughed. “Why, what’s wrong?”

“You told Oliver?”

“Yeah, so?”

“He’s my nemesis. And you showed him my weakness. My soft underbelly.”

Ruby laughed again. “Oliver is not your nemesis. And surely your weakness is your pitiful lower body strength and inability to mime pedaling?”

“You knew I was faking?” I really thought I’d made it look like I was working that pedalo too.

“I was doing all the work, of course I knew! My glutes were on fire the next day.”

“I see . . .” I trailed off. “Awkward.”

“Do you think I should be a professional sailor? I could join the navy.”

“Based on your pedalo experience? Probably not.”

“I could be the first woman to sail around the world in a swan.”

“Saoirse, what are you doing in here?” Dad walked into his office with a coffee in one hand and a tablet in the other. “Are you on the phone? Did you lose your mobile? I’m not buying you a new one.”

“I’m on a call. Please leave.”

“Is that your dad? Tell him I said hi,” Ruby said, sounding more excited than any teenager ever has about a parent eavesdropping on a conversation.

“Oh, Saoirse, did you see one of the big swans escaped,” Dad said, flipping his tablet so the screen faced me. It was on the homepage of the local newspaper. “Peda-Low Life Steals Giant Swan” was the headline, and there was a photograph of our bird, recovered, with the owner.

“No way,” I said.

“Why not?” Ruby asked.

“I know, right?” Dad said. “It was quite the scandal. They think it was kids joyriding. It was found wedged into a rock further up the cove.”

Joyriding. Honestly.

“I mean no way to Ruby. Dad, give me a sec, would you?”

“Oh, it’s Ruuuuby,” he said, childishly drawing out her name. He made kissy noises that would put you off locking lips for life.

“Why no? Can’t I say hi to your dad?”

“This was a terrible idea,” I said, more to myself than Ruby or Dad.

“Why don’t you ask Ruby round for dinner on Saturday night?” Dad said, smirking over his coffee.

I shook my head fiercely and mouthed no way.