The photos of Lauren are of her in the nude. She is posing around her kitchen, living room and in her garden. Occasionally there is a picture of the loving couple together. Him, fully clothed, standing firm and looking handsome, her draped across him like a naked cat, or in something embarrassingly slinky. Apparently, these are to go in a magazine the week after the wedding. She has chosen to do a naked photo shoot to go alongside an interview about being in love. To me it reeks of claiming ownership; a warning to other women to stay away from her man.

Maybe going to their wedding will be an interesting experience. Even though Rebecca is planning on hiding me in a ‘back room’.

I’ll get to see how the other half live. Get a glimmer of the reality of these people. But one thing I know for sure is that the confidence Lauren Pearce pretends to exude about herself is an absolute lie. The list of changes she has requested to her body is ridiculous.

OK Ruby, here is the list from Lauren.

Bec

* sort roots out.

* Bronze all over

* Weird vein on foot, get rid of

* Eye bags

* plump lips

* Whiten eyes

* Bring out clavicle a bit

** Get rid of the peach fuzz.

*Remove Tattoo

I look at the pictures again. The tattoo is a simple ‘V’ on her hip. Probably some ex-boyfriend, she’s trashy enough to do something like that. This ‘peach fuzz’ she is talking of, a thin layer of blonde fluff that lies on her forearms, upper thighs, a hint of it on her top lip. If that was all the body hair I had my life would be entirely different. I’d take that thin layer in black, over what I have to deal with. What a stupid, affected, vain, fake trollop this woman is. I find her despicable. It’s women like this that set us all so far back, by promoting their bodies as their currency. I saw her on Loose Women defending herself against a Daily Mail article about how women who pose naked are not feminists. She said she is proud of her body and wants to show it off, that it makes her feel good and makes her feel powerful. She says she wants to encourage other women to feel the same way. To take ownership of their bodies and feel empowered by their sexuality.

‘Empowered’ is the most subjective word in the English dictionary. When women say nudity is empowering, they are diminishing millions of other women’s fears to something stupid. My nudity is my worst nightmare. If I took my clothes off in public people would be repulsed. I look like an anorexic ape. If anyone ever told me to embrace my body and love myself, I’d tell them to spend a week dressed as a giant monkey and see how Zen they feel at the end of it.