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So Lucky

Dawn O'Porter
Chapters (28)
  1. SO LUCKY
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. Acknowledgements
  20. Keep Reading …
  21. Introduction
  22. PIECE ONE
  23. Parenting – WHAT is that smell?
  24. PIECE TWO
  25. Don’t miss the ‘So Lucky’ podcast series
  26. About the Author
  27. Also by Dawn O’Porter
  28. About the Publisher
Cover image: So Lucky by Dawn O’Porter

SO LUCKY

Dawn O’Porter

HarperCollinsPublishers Logo

Dedication

Dedicated to Caroline

Epigraph

LUCK [n] /:

Success or failure apparently brought by

chance rather than through one’s own actions.

Everyone else is OK

Everyone else’s life is perfect

Everyone is talking about me

Everyone has this figured out except me

Everyone knows I can’t do this

We are all SO LUCKY.

What could we possibly have to complain about?

Everyone has their shit

Everyone needs to be kinder to themselves

Everyone’s in the struggle together

Everyone isn’t me

Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about …

1

Ruby

My kid moved out the day she was born. For someone like me, becoming a mother was when I thought I’d finally give my whole self to another human without being constrained by the limitations of my condition. I thought my undying love for this little person would be met by her needing me in a way I had never been needed before. But as it turns out, I’m not sure my kid has ever needed me other than in a physical capacity to keep her alive. Being a mother hasn’t been the sweet experience I imagined it to be. In fact, my kid is an asshole. Some might say she gets it from me.

It’s 7.05 a.m. I am lying on my bed and she’s screaming like she’s being attacked in the next room. She isn’t being attacked, she is fine. She doesn’t sleep in a cot, she knows how to get up. But still, she shouts and screams until I go into her room. Only to tell me to get away from her when I do.

I didn’t want a girl. I wanted a boy. I have no idea how to teach a girl to love herself. I thought, if I had a boy, then Liam could just take care of that side of things. I also don’t like how manipulative women are. I didn’t realise it started so early.