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Back So Lucky Save as PDF
Chapters (28)
  1. SO LUCKY
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. Acknowledgements
  20. Keep Reading …
  21. Introduction
  22. PIECE ONE
  23. Parenting – WHAT is that smell?
  24. PIECE TWO
  25. Don’t miss the ‘So Lucky’ podcast series
  26. About the Author
  27. Also by Dawn O’Porter
  28. About the Publisher

@harrietgallently: I tried that granola you were promoting. Tasted like my gran’s armpit.

9

Beth

It’s like when you’re hungry and you find yourself standing at the fridge with a mouthful of cake, but don’t remember getting there. I’m behind the tree again.

It is lunch time, prime time, and it isn’t dark. This is a ‘dogging hotspot’, I know that now, I read it online.

A car passes but doesn’t stop. I see a little movement behind a bush on the other side of the clearing and I tell myself I am safe, even though maybe I am not. Is that part of the thrill? I’m still trying to work that out. People would hear me if I screamed.

The rustle moves a little closer. Maybe it’s the couple?

Another car drives past. It doesn’t stop. Then a man appears from behind a tree opposite me. He is wearing a mask. It should be terrifying, but the mask only covers half of his face and it is a kid’s mask, some kind of animal. Maybe a fox? Yes, a fox. If I wasn’t so horny I’d think he was stupid. But I read that a lot of people wear masks. It’s an anonymity thing, and I think that is fair enough. I try not to pay it too much attention.

The man stands in the clearing and holds his hand out, as if asking me to join him. I shake my head. I’m not here for that. I see there are other people behind the trees. He puts his hand out again. This time I wonder if I should. I was led here by my sexual desire, I am craving something new. I deserve to have my libido acknowledged and appreciated. It weirdly feels like a safer space than my own bedroom. I don’t want the complexities of emotion; I want the satisfaction of sex. I come out from behind the tree and walk over to the man.

He takes my hand and leads me to a tree stump. There are definitely people watching us. He smiles at me. I wish I could see his eyes. He is tall, slim. He could be very handsome, I wish I could see. But then he could be very ugly. So maybe it is best that I can’t.

I now can’t imagine him any other way than ugly.

He begins to undo his jeans. Another rustle behind a tree. Tommy appears in my mind. My baby. Michael too. Still my husband. Reality strikes.

‘I can’t, I’m sorry,’ I say. The man is getting closer to me with his hard penis in his hand. He stays still, and puts up no resistance, but he continues to masturbate himself, as if that will change my mind.