It’s just a mouse? You could say that about anything really, couldn’t you? It’s just a dead dad. It’s just an unloving mother. It’s just a failed marriage. It’s just a job that makes you feel guilty. It’s just a body covered in fur. It’s just an existence without intimate connections. It’s just dying alone.

‘Shall we do it then?’ I ask Bonnie, knowing what the answer will be. With my Marigolds on, I tip the bucket onto its side, facing away from me of course. The mouse doesn’t come out for a minute or two, like maybe there is something comforting about the bucket. But then it appears, sniffing slowly as it discovers new ground. Looking here, looking there. Sniffing this, sniffing that. And then it gains the confidence it needs and runs quickly into a bush and disappears. Bonnie screeches with delight. I stand back and watch. Maybe, just maybe, the slightest smile appearing on my face too.

6

Lauren Pearce – Instagram post

@OfficialLP

The image is of Lauren and her mother. Both pretty, both blonde. Both in jeans and nice tops, both fully made-up. They are hugging, with enormous smiles on their faces. The perfect mother/daughter combo.

The caption reads:

What would I be without this woman? Strong, funny, my inspiration. Love you Mummy! #womensupportingwomen

@usertype: I’d bang you both, has Gavin?

@essenceturbo: Ahhhh, nothing like a mothers love. This is so precious. She must be so proud.

@wednesdaydays: Go ladies! Looking gorgeous. I miss my mum, enjoy every moment.

@isolatetheday: Gorgeous ladies. So excited for you both …

Ruby

Good morning Ruby, thank you so much for your kind words about our nursery. We are happy to say we have a space for Bonnie and can take her with immediate effect. You can bring her tomorrow if you like, for two hours, to ease her in. If that suits, we will see you then.

Please fill in the attached forms in advance. Maria x

Oh thank God. I finally get a reply from one of the nurseries I’d contacted. Hopefully this childcare mess will be sorted soon. I get back to Maria straight away.

Yes, wonderful, we will see you at 9am tomorrow. Thank you.

I’ll drop her off and tell them I’ll be back in two hours, but instead I’ll call saying I am stuck in a meeting and they will say it’s totally fine, and that she can stay the day. It’s what I did with the last place. She didn’t need any settling in, she couldn’t wait to get away from me.