School recommended a game where you put an egg in a zip-lock bag, fill the bag with whatever you can find, then drop the bag and see if you’ve managed to protect the egg from smashing. I was like: EGGS ARE LIKE SACRED CRYSTALS RIGHT NOW,WHY THE HELL WOULD I RISK SMASHING ONE?

We didn’t do the experiment. Which makes this Day 12 of not educating my child. He’s FINE.

There was plenty more pant-pissing throughout the day, so I ended up taking off Valentine’s trousers altogether. He thought this was brilliant and spent most of the afternoon on all fours with his ass in the air. I always tell my kids to put their bums away, not encouraging it. Otherwise all we would talk about would be bums and poo. But occasionally, when they least expect it, I pull a mooner just so they think I’m the coolest mum ever. Works a treat. Gets me loads of hugs.

My friend Rebecca made me a loaf of sourdough and dropped it round. The bread was UNREAL. Like, proper fluffy English bread, rather than the weird, sweet, rubbery stuff you get here. She stood outside with a mask on and we chatted, and it was amazing. But I wanted more. I miss my friends. I want to hug them. It really devastates me to stand a few feet away from someone I love, not being able to touch them, and having to wear a mask. It’s so weird. Our house has always been full of friends. Most Sundays since we have lived in this house we’ve had people over. It’s the party house. Now it’s the farty house.

I miss drinking with grown-ups. Kids are way more judgey.

OK, that’s it from me for tonight,

Love Dawn x

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But, often, we only get to see one version of someone – and usually only the best. In this fast, funny, frank new podcast series, Dawn O’Porter peels back the layers with a variety of guests to explore all the sides to their stories; the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the lucky and the unlucky moments.

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About the Author

Dawn O’Porter lives in Los Angeles with her husband Chris, her two boys Art and Valentine, and her cat Lilu and dog Potato.