At least the weather is improving. We did some bee-saving today because there are hundreds of docile ones on the lawn. I accidentally drowned one in the sugary water and felt like total shit about myself all day. Art put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘It’s OK, Mummy, he didn’t look like he was gonna make it.’ And so I cried.

Why have I turned into a pathetic heap of blubbing nonsense?

I do think, as this goes on, things will fall into place. I have romantic ideas for isolated communes where we all get high while the kids play games like tiddlywinks and snap.

I have some good kaftans that would be perfect for such a scenario.

There are lots of people sending around ideas and activities to do with the kids. I need to get on it, rather than just resent the fact that to do any of those things involves me doing them too. But the reality is, if we fill three hours a day with solid activities, then the rest can be more fluid … free play, food, park, TV. So, I will do better. I just want to sit and read, or start my new novel, but these days aren’t really working out that way. I guess what I’m most nervous of is that this school closure will become all about the kids. (Obviously, it is about the kids, but bear with me.) We must keep them motivated, fit, stimulated, but that leaves no time for us to work, does it? And if we can’t work, then everything is a nightmare. So, hopefully schools are going to take that into account while they experiment with all this remote learning, and accept that the kids will get a bit less attention than they would at school.

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

In terms of activities, the school suggested that we cut out little leaves from paper and then the kids come up with things they are grateful for. (All Valentine, my two-year-old, ever says is ‘whales’. All Art, age five, ever says is ‘poo’.) You write what they say on them, then hook them onto twigs and put them in a vase. A little gratefulness tree. Quite cute. I think I can manage that. I’m grateful for weed gummies. Stick that on a leaf and smoke it.

My dog Potato is having the best week of his life because we are all home. Honestly, I wish I was a dog. No, I don’t, I wish I was a fish, because you can’t get Covid-19 in the ocean. Can you? Oh God, what if it’s in the water?

I did nail our Paddy’s night dinner last night though. Corned beef and cabbage, with mashed potato and sweetcorn. It was yum. I think that tonight I’ll make something extra special like … hmmm … hot dogs. Done.