‘True, but it certainly made me assess what is important. Like I said, I needed it, so thank you.’

‘You’re welcome. I guess it’s good that something positive can come from all this,’ he says, dropping his head again. He is so heavy today. Of course he has days like this. I’m not sure I would ever get out of bed. ‘My wife doesn’t know about this bench,’ he tells me, as if that bothers him.

‘Really, why?’ I ask, quite shocked by that. The bench should be for everyone who misses Verity, surely?

‘She brushed her death under the carpet. She didn’t want to talk about it. All I wanted to do was talk about it, I couldn’t stop. I’ve seen a therapist twice a week since it happened, just so I can go on and on. I don’t understand how she couldn’t. She didn’t want a bench. She thought it would be a place to wallow, rather than a place to feel connected to Verity. This bench feels like my lifeline some days.’

‘It’s a lovely thing to have,’ I say, feeling a need to reassure him that she was wrong.

‘I used to bring the girls to the park. You see it a lot, don’t you? Dads on Saturdays with their kids. That was me. This was our favourite spot. I went ahead and organised the bench without telling my wife. It’s my special place where I can be with my daughter. I find it so peaceful here.’

‘It is.’

We sit for a moment looking out. I notice the time and realise I better get going.

‘I have to get to an appointment,’ I say, standing up. ‘Thanks. Again. I hope your weekend is OK and not too stressful. Families are hard.’

‘They are. Bye Ruby.’

‘Bye.’

Something tells me he’ll be there a while today.

I have a wax appointment at ten a.m. I travel across London on the underground at rush hour to get there, I am now very hot. I underestimated the weather and wore velvet instead of cotton. The waiting room is packed, everyone is young and, to my self-deprecating eye, extremely beautiful. I walk purposefully to the receptionist. She is young, too.

‘Yes, I have an appointment at ten,’ I say, feeling like an old hag.

‘Great, and your name?’

‘Ruby.’

‘Ruby … yup, there you are. OK, you’re in for a full body today?’

I can’t believe she just did that. Any number of these people could have heard. I can’t speak. I just stand still, like a pillock.

‘Is that right, Ruby? A full-body wax?’

Oh my God, she did it again. Is this woman thick?

She needs an answer from me. There are two women in the queue behind me, why is this place so busy?

I am so desperate for this wax. I have to be brave. I nod.