I bring his head back up to my face and lick and kiss his lips. He starts to undo his jeans. I don’t want a quick fuck on a sofa in the missionary position. If he comes quickly and that’s all that happens, it will have been for nothing. I need more from this. I pull away from him and reach for my bag. I almost fall off the sofa but he catches me. He must think I am getting a condom, but I’m not. I have a little pot of Vaseline lip balm. I tell him to take off his jeans, and I smother his penis with the Vaseline. He tells me I’m ‘so hot, so sexy’. I look him in the eye and ask him if he’s feeling naughty. He tells me he is.

I am a sexual woman and he is so lucky to have me on his sofa. But I am getting what I want out of this. And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.

I turn myself around, and when he tries to enter me I guide him upwards. I think of Risky. I want to be more Risky. ‘I want you in my arse,’ I tell him over my shoulder. He hesitates, but not for long. He undoes my bra. It’s a nursing bra and it falls to the sofa. My breasts full of milk, my baby at home, Michael. I get those thoughts out of my head. I deserve this. He gently pushes his penis into my bottom at my request. I’ve never had anal sex before, I don’t know what brought me to it in this moment. The need to feel dirty? In control? Desired? Or just that my vagina belongs to someone else? If I do it this way, maybe it isn’t so bad? Or maybe I just need to reclaim my slutty side.