The guy makes a statement and gives the polis descriptions of the youths, as they say. Then we’re made to shake hands, like we were bairns in a school playground. Ah think about taking exception to this patronising behaviour, but it feels strangely good to be magnanimous and ah can see the bruises and swelling coming up on the side of the poor cunt’s face and ah was a bit out of order hitting the boy like that, poor cunt was upset at being ripped off and only trying tae get justice but wisnae thinking straight in his emotional state when he apprehended said Leith man. Then the lawman gets into his car and departs, leaving us looking at each other. The women have gone up the road.

– Embarrassment that, eh! The guy laughs.

Ah said fuck all; ah just shrugged at the cunt.

– Sorry, mate … ah mean, ye could’ve goat me intae bother thair. If ye’d pressed charges like. Ah appreciate it.

Get him intae fuckin bother … – Listen, ya daft bastard, ah wis trippin oot ay face n when that polis wanker came ah hud tae swallow some mair trips ah wis haudin. In aboot one minute ah’m gaunnae be totally cunted here!

– Fuck … acid … ah’ve no done acid for years … he said, then: – Listen, mate, come along the road wi me. Tae the restuarant. Sit doon for a bit.

– If ye goat drink thair, aye.

He nodded.

– Ye see the only thing ah can dae is have a good bevvy. It’s the only way ye can control a trip: force doon as much alcohol as possible. It’s a depressant, ken.

– Aye, awright. Ah’ve goat drink in the restaurant. I’d take ye for a beer in a boozer, but ah’ve goat tae get back and prepare for the night. Seturday night, the busiest time n that.

Ah’m in nae position tae refuse. The trips hit me like a slap in the face from a wet fish. Loads of wee explosions go off simultaneously in ma heid and ah realise that ah can see nothing at all, just a big golden light and some obscure objects swirling around me out of reach. – Fuckin hell … man, ah’m gaunnae die dinnae let ays walk intae that road …

– S’awright, mate, ah’ve goat ye here …

The guy’s holding me again, this time I’m keeping a grip on him, even though he looks like that fuckin dinosaur in Jurassic Park, one ay they nippy wee cunts which, awright, are wee by dinosaur standards, no as big as the T. Rex; T. Rex, now there was a cunt: – Ah love to boogie on a Saturday night … mind that cunt T. Rex?