– In a wee minute, eh, Amber told her.

– It’s great thit thir daein this for the bairns, another mother said.

The minister cunt walked away, leaving Woodsy shouting at him: – Fuckin hypocrite! You’ve nae spirituality! Dinnae fuckin tell ays otherwise! Satanic cunt in a cloth! Thirs nae church except the church ay the self! Thirs nae medium between man and god except MDMA! Fuckin scam artist!

– Shut it, Woodsy, ah sais, – c’moan, let’s git started. A crowd were clocking the embarrassed minister leaving.

There were plenty young cunts coming in. – They should aw be at school, Amber went.

When ah got in ah’d noted that two hard bastards had got a table-tennis table out and had started playing in the middle ay the dance floor. Woodsy flipped when he saw them. – Hi! We’ve booked this! he snapped.

– You wantin a fuckin burst mooth, ya cunt? You’re no fae here! one of the nutters snarled.

– The boy’s right, Woodsy, this isnae your club, ah cut in, – thirs plenty room here. Youse dinnae mind us playin our sounds and huvin a bop, boys? Ah addressed this remark tae the hardest-lookin ay the two hard cunts.

– Dae whit yis like, eh, the probably hardest cunt replies.

Ah got up and started puttin on the tunes. At first ah wisnae really mixin, just sort ay playing the sounds like, but then ah started really gaun for it, tryin oot one or two things. It was shite, but ah was so intae it, every cunt was getting intae it tae. The mothers n toddlers were jumpin, the wee neds were rave-dancing wi each other and even the two hard cunts had stopped playin the t.t. and were going fir it. Woodsy’s Es were all snapped up and Amber even managed to flog a few ay ma Doves. Ah necked a couple myself and swallowed a wee wrap ay that crystal meth. Within an hour, the place was fill tae the brim. At first ah didnae see the polis come in, but the guy pulled the plug oan us and broke it up, before perr auld Woodsy got a chance to dae anything.

Then ah went up to the toon tae this club that wis oan and then ah saw her.

11

YOU CAN TELL that something’s cooking in the emotional stratosphere beyond the buzzes ay the drugs U4E when your personal behaviour starts to change. Since ah met her last week ah’ve started to shower every day and brush my teeth twice a day. Ah’ve also taken to wearing fresh pants and socks on a daily basis which is a killer at the launderette. Usually one pair ay Ys lasted during the week and the other pair did for the clubbing. Most crucially, ah’ve been scrubbing under the helmet meticulously. Even the flat looks different. No clean and tidy exactly, but better.