Nukes raised his eyebrows and smiled, – Must be love then, he said, then he added, – Oan your side, right enough. What’s gaun oan wi her though, mate?

12

IT WAS JUST so beautiful, beyond anything ah could have imagined I’d ever feel. It was love no sex. Sex was just the starting motor; this was pure love action. Ah felt her essence, ah know ah did. Ah know she did too, ah know she got there like she’d never done in her life, cause she was greetin and hiding her face. She felt like she had never been that exposed before. Ah tried tae put my arm around her, but she pulled away. Ah suppose after her sexual problems with the guy she was married to, it was such a big emotional ordeal and she needed time to herself. Ah could dig that, thank fuck I’m a sensitive cunt. Okay, ah said to her softly, okay, I’ll gie you some time oan yir ain. It sounded a bit fuckin daft but it was all ah could think of saying. Ah went through to the living-room and put on Scotsport: Hibs v. Aberdeen.

She was a bit distant and nippy eftir that, and she went back over tae hers. Ah suppose she just needed time tae git it sorted oot. Ah made up a Bobby Womack tape fae Shaun’s collection and took it up tae ma Ma and Dad’s.

13

THIS TIME IT was even better than the first time, for me and for her. Ah didnae realise it, but ah fucked up big style the first time. She telt me how it felt for her. It was a bit ay a shock. Ah think it’s because you always want to get the first one over, there’s too much at stake when it’s someone you’re really intae. The first shag stands alongside yir fledgling relationship like a big question mark, when it’s somebody you really care for, really love. Then once you get it oot the road you can settle down tae making love. Things like foreplay can come mair intae their ain. It’s funny how there’s nae embarrassment aboot stickin yir cock intae a strange lassie, but like licking and caressing her are a bit dodgy the first time. Ah should’ve got E’d up the first time ah made love tae Heather, eh. E makes it great for strangers, the barriers come down so that sex with a stranger on E is magnificent. See wi someone you love though, the barriers should be down anyway, so the chemicals shouldn’t make any difference. Eh, no? This is what ah want tae discuss with Nukes when he comes up.