Ah must have been making a racket cause the Straight-Peg woman across the way comes tae her door to investigate the noise. – Are you okay, Mrs McKenzie? Did the noise from that music disturb you too? she asks the auld dear, the fuckin self-centred manipulative soulless cunt.

– The soup’s comin, Mrs Mack said, cheerful and appeased as she moved painstakingly slowly along the landing and down the stairs.

Ah went back inside, wrapped it on the Richard and headed oot tae the shops tae get the ingredients for the soup. As ah left there was a message on the answer-machine. It was a long rambling statement fae Nukes that actually said nothing except that he had his hoose raided by the polis.

3

WHEN AH GOT back from the supermarket with the soup ingredients, ah was just in the door when the bell behind me sounded tersely. It was The Poisonous Cunt and she was in tow with The Victim whose coupon was fixed in a nervous, tense stare which even my most open smile couldn’t break down.

The Victim was a chronic fuck-up. People like her always seemed to hang out with The Poisonous Cunt. In turn, she kept their self-esteem low and made sure that they stayed in psychic immiseration. She was a curator of dead souls. It concerned me that ah seemed tae be spending more time with The Poisonous Cunt; we just turned each other onto suppliers of drugs, and good deals. Ah had once shagged The Victim, when ah was coked up ah bullshitted her intae bed one night … intae bed, my arse, it was actually onto the flair, the flair behind the couch where Ally was shagging this lassie he’d met at Pure. Anyway, The Victim gave ays hassle for weeks after, with phone calls, at clubs, etc. She had a tendency to put up with anything, and was into any form of attention. That was why she eywis ended up in abusive relationships.

– Diddly dit dit dee, two ladies, ah sang at them with a cheerfulness ah didnae feel as ah ushered them in, only to be met with frost. The Poisonous Cunt rolled her bottom lip downwards like an inverted red carpet. She had that fatigued, irritated air of a young woman who had seen more than she should but had not yet seen what she wanted, and had just about decided to wrap it rather than look further.

– Wait here, she snapped at The Victim who began to softly bubble. Ah went over tae do a bit of token stagey comforting, but The Poisonous Cunt wrenched my arm and pulled me into the kitchen, shutting the door behind us and lowering her voice so much that ah could only see her lips move.

– Eh? ah asked her.

– She’s fucked up.

– What’s new? ah shrugged, but ah don’t think The Poisonous Cunt heard ays.