A few people had stopped to witness the commotion. Ah became aware of them for the first time when a woman whae’d been watchin us said: – You jist grabbed that laddie! Jist grabbed um! It wisnae anything tae dae wi the laddie …

– That’s right, ah said, nodding at the cop.

– This true? asked the polisman.

– Aye, ah suppose, says the beefy restaurateur, looking aw fuckin sheepish as well he might because he tampered unjustly with one Lloyd Buist from Leith who is a waster and has set himself up in opposition to the fascist British state but who now to his extreme embarrassment finds one of its law enforcement officers taking his side and ticking off the capitalist businessman who tried to apprehend said Leith man.

Another woman says, – The likes ah you have goat enough bloody money as it is!

– That’s fuckin men fir ye. Money, money, money, that’s aw they think aboot, another one, the one that took my part, laughs.

– That n thir hole, the other woman said. Then she looks at the restaurateur and gives him a dismissive sneer.

The guy looks at her, but she’s sort of staring him down and starts to say something then thinks better of it.

The cop rolls his eyes in a manner obviously meant to indicate exasperation but which seems a camp, theatrical gesture. – Look, says our lawman, looking bored, – we can play this by the rules which means I’ll huv yis both doon the station n charged wi breach. He raises his eyebrows in a what’s-it-to-be manner at the restaurateur who looks like he’s shiting himself.

– Aw c’moan … geez a brek, the restaurant guy appeals.

– You were out of order, pal, the cop lectures, pointing at the guy, – attempting to restrain this man when the culprits were in fact two other men. You admit that this man wasn’t even in your restaurant?

– Aye, the guy said. He looks quite ashamed.

– Too right, ah goes. Cheeky bastard. Innocent passer-by me, eh, I said to the cop. He looks like Noddy.

He turns to address me, adopting that formal Officer-Of-The-Law mode, – And you, goes the polis, – you’re out of your face. Ah dunno what the fuck you’re on, and right now ah’ve goat far too much on tae be bothered. Any fuckin mair lip fae you and ah will be bothered. So shut it. He looks back to the restaurateur. – I want details from you, about the other two guys.