Chapters (93)
- Cover
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Eighty-One
- Eighty-Two
- Eighty-Three
- Eighty-Four
- Eighty-Five
- Author’s Note
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Books by Kelly Yang
- Back Ad
- About the Publisher
But as I turn the motion around in my head, I can’t shake the pins and needles in my fingers, the demoralizing notion that he forgives me? Does he have any idea what the last few months have been like for me? The choking anxiety of having to sit with this, day after day, weighing my options. If I go nuclear, what about the blowback? What about my scholarship? The crushing fear that they’ll come after me with every dollar of their million-dollar endowment and bury me?
“Dani, you’re up!” An organizer taps on my shoulder and jolts me back to reality.
Panicked, I turn to him. “I need more time!”
He shakes his head and taps on his watch. “Let’s go,” he says, and leads me to the front of the stage. The blinding spotlights hit me as I walk over to the podium. I look out at the audience, at Mr. Connelly in the back and the debate coach from Yale standing next to him.
I think of Ming’s words—I don’t need a parachute to soar.
Seventy-Seven
Claire
In the end, it wasn’t even close. Of the four faculty members and two student representatives of the ad board, only one voted in my favor—Emma.
It gives me some comfort that Emma Lau, of all people, chose to believe me, and I cling to it. That it wasn’t unanimous. That I was able to go into a room, stare into the eyes of my assailant, and tell him that what he did to me was not okay. And the sky did not collapse. That’s something, isn’t it? All this I remind myself, even as the pangs of regret cramp my stomach. The ad board was not a path to justice. Rational, impartial adults did not believe me. And tomorrow when I go to school again, I’ll still have to see him.
I unlock the door to my apartment and plummet on the couch as the phone rings. It’s my mom calling.
“Claire, guess what? We got you a place at another school,” my mom announces. “Your dad and I just gave a donation to Terry Grove High and now you have a spot!”
I lower my head back against the couch. “Oh, Mom, you won’t believe the shitty day I’ve just had,” I exhale into the phone as I tell her the verdict.
She mutters a curse word in Chinese. “I know you’re hurting, honey, and I’m so sorry. That’s why I didn’t want you to go to the ad board. But just think, you could have a fresh start!” my mom says.
How do I tell my mom I need more than a fresh start? More than a spot? More than something money can buy? I need her. Tears fall down my neck.