Chapters (93)
- Cover
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Eighty-One
- Eighty-Two
- Eighty-Three
- Eighty-Four
- Eighty-Five
- Author’s Note
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Books by Kelly Yang
- Back Ad
- About the Publisher
Jay puts up his hands. Florence, Nancy, and Jess watch us from across the field. The sight of his hands brings me straight back to that night, the way they pinned me down, holding me in place while he violated me. I lunge forward, feeling my breakfast rising in me. It comes shooting out of me. As Jay reaches to hold back my hair, I shout at him, “Get the fuck away from me!”
My face is ashen white, hair a disheveled mess, the sick drying on my shirt as I march back into Mrs. Mandalay’s office for the second time today.
“I want to proceed with the ad board,” I say. Mrs. Mandalay puts down her pen and folds her hands on her desk.
“Are you sure about this?” she asks.
“Yes.” The idea of spending the next few months in the same school as that creep, while he walks around pretending nothing happened, is impossible. I get physically ill around him. Any hope for an undisturbed rest of my education withered and died today on the field.
Mrs. Mandalay presses a button on her desk phone, tells her secretary to hold her calls. She turns to me and once again reminds me, “You’re going to have to face him during the trial.”
I know. I tell myself there’s nothing to be scared of. I’ve already faced him. Of course, telling him to fuck off on the field is not the same thing as listening to him deny having raped me to our teachers.
“You think you can handle that?” she asks.
I clench my hands into tight fists.
“Yes,” I say.
“Okay, then,” she says, retrieving her calendar from her desk. She glances at the dates. “How’s Thursday?”
Walking out of Mrs. Mandalay’s office the second time, I’m met by Florence, Nancy, and Jess outside. My squad pulls me in for a hug as I tell Nancy and Florence what happened.
“That motherfucker!” Nancy cries. “Are you going to switch schools?”
I shake my head. “No. I’m going up in front of the ad board.”
“Hey, how’d it go?” Zach runs up to me and asks me. He’s just come from training, and his hair’s still wet. My friends stare at Zach as he leans over and gives me a kiss.
“This is Zach,” I introduce to them.
Jess looks down at Zach’s ripped JanSport backpack and used Nike sneakers, the swoosh so faded it looks more like the crooked mouth of a smiley face. And even though she doesn’t say it, I can see it on her face: You left Jay for him?
Seventy
Dani
“Hey,” I say to Zach in band, putting away my tournament papers for Snider. “How come you keep canceling our tutoring sessions?”
He doesn’t reply.