Chapters (93)
- Cover
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Eighty-One
- Eighty-Two
- Eighty-Three
- Eighty-Four
- Eighty-Five
- Author’s Note
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Books by Kelly Yang
- Back Ad
- About the Publisher
I put my stuff in storage and check in to a nearby hotel while I wait for my mom’s real estate agent to find me a house. The real estate agent says it’s going to take a couple of days, during which I continue to skip school (my parents email the school to tell them I’m sick), watch TV, and order room service.
My mom says hotels make you forget reality—what happens in a hotel, stays in a hotel. I wonder if that’s something she tells herself so she can avoid thinking about what my dad does in them, but I try to apply the same logic. I take long swims in the outdoor pool. I float on my back as I gaze up at the clouds, thinking about my childhood and enjoying the warm weather and how nice it is to not be at school, until I remember why it is I can’t go to school. At the thought of Jay, all the horror comes flooding back and my body plunges. Water goes up my nose, and I gasp and cough.
The pool staff rushes over to me and asks if I’m okay. I get out of the pool and run back to my room. Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Moments of happiness punctured by the memory of what happened, like a bomb which can detonate at any time.
Sleep’s been hard. Zach brought me some melatonin, but it doesn’t really work on me. I long instead for my grandmother’s special blend of Chinese rosebud, wolfberry, and white peony root tea, but I know I can’t call her. I’ve been forbidden from contacting her. Not that I’d want to talk to her about what happened.
Jess FaceTimes to tell me Jay’s been asking about me.
“I told him to go fuck himself,” she says. She’s kept my secret and not told anyone, not even Nancy and Florence, who keep texting me, Where are you? What’s going on? “He looks like shit by the way . . . ,” she adds.
My phone dings. It’s my parents on the other line.
“I’ll call you back,” I say to Jess, and switch the call.
“Good news,” my mom announces. “We found you an apartment two blocks away from school. They’re getting it ready now. You should be able to move in a few days.”
“Oh, and listen,” my dad adds. “I talked to Jay’s dad.”
I sit up and wrap my robe around me tightly.
“He assures me what happened will not happen again. Jay is very sorry. You’re safe to go back to school.”
I’m safe?