He’s a very good kisser. Whereas Teddy was always rooting around in my mouth with his tongue like it was some sort of scavenger hunt, Jay caresses me with his experienced lips. I put my hands around the back of his neck as he pulls me hungrily toward the couch. Slowly, he moves his lips down my neck. My breathing changes. I close my eyes, feeling the heat spread as his fingers move under my shirt.

“Wait, stop,” I pant.

This is moving way too fast. I put my hand on his chest to try to put some space in between us. He tries to kiss me again, but I turn away slightly.

“I think we should slow down,” I tell him.

He looks at me confused. “Why?” he asks.

He stares down at the huge bulge in his pants, as if to say, CASE IN POINT. WHY?

“I’m not ready,” I say, my pupils flashing. I get up and go into the kitchen and pour us both some water. When I return, he’s standing in front of the window, looking out at the pool.

“I’m not really into the innocent thing,” he says.

I set down the glasses, carefully considering the statement. “Well, I’m not really into the call-girl thing,” I reply tartly.

He laughs. “Don’t kid yourself. You’re not a call girl, not even close,” he says.

I look down at my glass. “Have you had them?” I ask.

“Call girls?”

I don’t know, it’s possible! We’ve only just started hanging out. Maybe that’s what all the mirrors on the walls are for?

Jay looks almost offended. “No,” he says firmly.

And I feel bad for asking.

His eyes soften. He reaches out and takes my hand. “Are you a virgin?” he asks.

I nod. I wait for him to say something, and when he doesn’t, I feel really exposed. I hug my chest. “I mean, I’ve done stuff before, but just not . . .”

He arches an eyebrow. “What kind of stuff?” he asks.

My face turns hot. It crosses my mind to tell him about sexting with Teddy, but that’s almost more embarrassing.

He smiles at me. “A real virgin, interesting . . . ,” he muses to himself.

“I take it you’re not,” I ask him hesitantly.

He shakes his head. “I am definitely not,” he says. I fall quiet, bugged by his reply. Why’d he have to add “definitely”?

I cross my arms, suddenly mad at myself for coming. An hour ago, I was feeling so good, proud of my first A at my American school and now my English high is gone and in its place is a horny, sulky angst I can’t explain.

Jay walks over and puts his hands on my cheeks. “Hey. It’s okay.”

Slowly, I look up at him. The sex-crazed look has vanished. In its place are kind, gentle eyes.