‘That’s awful. So your dad was trying to care for you and they sent him to jail for that. Even though you’d lost your mum, too.’

Of course Gemma automatically thinks the best of him, because she does of everyone. ‘He wasn’t an angel,’ I say.

‘No, but under those circumstances . . . it’s cruel.’ Somehow Gemma looks even lovelier when she frowns. ‘How long did he go to prison for?’

‘He got six years, but he would have played the system to get out early, knowing my dad. But I’d cut off contact. I was angry with him.’

‘Six years. That’s a travesty.’ She’s shaking her head. ‘And you’ve had nothing to do with him since then?’

‘He didn’t search for me, either. Even when I was growing up, I always felt Dad would have been so much happier if Mum had never got pregnant with me.’

Why did I say that? It’s raw, as well as true. Perhaps I want to make up for the lies I just told.

‘You could have been a reminder of how special she’d been.’ But Gemma sounds doubtful. ‘Sorry, I like to think everyone behaves well, but if he made you feel crap and never bothered to find you after prison, well, perhaps it’s for the best.’

We walk and I kick the ball in and out of the shallow surf, as Bear weaves around my feet, making little gruff sounds of excitement. Gemma’s silence makes me think out loud. ‘When he was sent down, I thought I didn’t need him, that I was all grown-up. But it’s like you said before: I wasn’t far off Casey’s age. A kid.’

She nods. ‘If you hadn’t had the best parenting, I guess it’s no wonder you didn’t know how to respond when Angelica got pregnant.’

‘I’m not trying to make excuses, but part of it was fear.’ I can picture myself in the filthy kitchen of my flat, the terror spreading through me, the blood rushing in my ears.

There is such tenderness in Gemma’s eyes. ‘I guess the choice of whether to be a dad yourself was taken out of your hands. But now you have chosen to be in Casey’s life, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it any more.’

‘Maybe not.’

‘Definitely not. Even in the couple of weeks since I met you both, I’ve been able to see you’re changing.’

‘Yeah? Well, some of that is down to you, Gemma.’

She blushes. And even though we know the Cole family are on red alert for any signs of closeness, she still reaches out to take my hand, squeezes it once and lets go.

‘Risky,’ I say, wanting to pull her towards me, to touch her everywhere.

‘Today I feel like taking risks,’ she says.

‘I could kiss you, if you want to live really dangerously.’

‘So tempted. But Casey would find it excruciating. Let’s wait till we’re alone again. It’ll be worth it.’ Her eyes shine.

‘How soon?’

‘Tomorrow, after I come to the hospital with Bear? We could take Casey out for supper and then’ – she hesitates – ‘we could be on our own.’