‘Both. But especially my husband. Sometimes it was only the anger that got me up in the morning. The stroke wasn’t his fault. But that didn’t stop me hating him for leaving.’ I hear her sigh. ‘I’d forgotten about that. Grief makes no sense, so much of the time.’

I nod to myself. ‘I’m sorry I got angry with you, Isabel. It wasn’t even with you, exactly.’

‘I knew that. And I’m sorry for being all over you and the treatment one minute, and appearing not to care the next. I was living through you for a good while, but now . . .’ She tails off.

And I think I know what she’s going to say. ‘Have you met somebody?’

A laugh, almost a girlish giggle. ‘Um. Yes. Actually. I joined a book group and he’s the only male reader. Much sought after. We connected instantly over Wuthering Heights. It was quite a surprise.’

I understand how that feels.

‘Wow, Isabel. That’s wonderful.’

She giggles again. ‘It is rather wonderful, yes. I keep remembering what Andrew said at your wedding, about the puzzle of love. And Robert has completed the jigsaw, for now at least. Sorry. Was it OK to mention Andrew?’

‘Of course. He’d have been thrilled for you.’

‘Yes, I rather think he would. May I ask you about the transfer? Do you know yet if it’s worked?’

‘On Saturday.’

‘I hope you get the result you want.’

I don’t even know what that is. ‘I’ll call you.’

I’m about to ring off when she asks, ‘Have you found it yet?’

This again: she’s like a dog with a bone. ‘The puzzle? No. I’m sure it’ll turn up one of these days.’

‘I know you’re dubious, Gemma, but he was very lucid when he mentioned it. And excited. Almost boyish again, you know. Like he always was when he’d thought of something clever.’ Her voice sounds so tender, as she remembers him.

‘Perhaps he really did believe he’d left something. At the end he found it hard to tell what was real, didn’t he?’

Afterwards I search the flat half-heartedly, knowing that I would have found something by now. But I cherish the idea of him wanting to leave me a final surprise.

I’m not furious with Andrew any more. The opposite. I think about Isabel’s news and imagine him meeting his mother’s new boyfriend. A bookish man sounds perfect, and Andrew would have made him comfortable.

What would my husband have made of Dan? Before I understood his past, I was sure Andrew would have been suspicious of such easy charm. But my husband was a sucker for a story, for battles and cliff-hangers, followed by redemption.

I’m so sick of battles and cliff-hangers. Right now there is nothing I can do but wait.

I realize I’m hungry, and I can’t face cleaning up the kitchen yet. So I order a pizza with all the cheeses.

Chapter 47: Dan

Friday 27 July

My head’s too noisy for sleep. Today I need to be the most persuasive I’ve ever been, to reach past the obstacles that are stopping me getting what I want.