‘How do you feel?’

‘Freaked out. Excited. Scared.’ She squeezes my hand. ‘You?’

‘Mostly scared of Laura finding out you told me first.’ I realize I’m trying to hide how I feel behind a joke. ‘Sorry. I’m nervous. I’ve never been in this situation before.’

‘Seriously? You’ve never met a woman who is pregnant with her late husband’s baby?’

‘Funnily enough, no.’ We share a smile.

And I realize what it is that’s missing from the flat. No, missing from my head. The tinnitus. It’s gone, because of Gemma.

Now what? I need to say the right thing. Come on. You can charm the birds from the trees, so why can’t you do this?

But before I can find the right words, Gemma blinks.

‘Right then,’ she says, her voice curt. ‘I’m not here to put you on the spot, but I came because I promised I’d tell you the result. And it’s cool. You’ve already got more than enough complication in your life without this.’

‘Gemma . . .’

She stands up. ‘But if it’s OK with you, I’d like to see Casey again if she visits. You wouldn’t have to come along or—’

Now or never.

‘No. That’s not OK.’

Gemma stares at me. ‘Oh.’ She looks devastated. ‘That’s a shame. I could ask Angelica, if you’d rather not see me.’

‘It’s not OK because I want to be there when you’re with Casey, and when you’re not. Because—’ Say it, you coward. Say it! ‘Because I’m in love with you.’

‘Oh!’ Her deep-green eyes are wide open. ‘Yeah, well, I’m in love with you too. Isn’t that a coincidence?’

I gaze at her. She’s in love with me.

And now we’re kissing and it’s so obvious. We’re in love.

But she breaks off almost immediately. ‘Except . . . what about the baby?’ She whispers ‘baby’. ‘And all the getting-to-know-each-other stuff that we won’t have enough time to do properly: the gallery trips and the playlists and gigs we talked about on our first date. I mean, it’s madness, isn’t it?’

‘I know the important things about you already. And you know me better than anybody ever has. That’s taken less than four weeks. I mean, sure, we can still do the playlists and galleries. But I’ve waited a lifetime to feel this way about someone, and I already have the answers I need. This isn’t bad timing. I think it is the perfect time.’

A smile spreads across her face. She sits back down and leans in and we kiss again. Even though it’s gentler than our previous kisses, it promises so much that I don’t want to look back, or forward.

I want to make the most of being right here, right now.

Epilogue: Gemma

Sunday 21 October

I don’t know if Casey guessed where we were going, but when we drive onto the grass, her smile makes it worth all the battles we had persuading Angelica.

It’s the perfect morning: crisp and clear. The baskets line up and the other passengers wait.