Can she?

The longer I spend in this state of panic, the more likely I am to screw up.

As Laura sits down next to her wife and baby daughter, her son still in her arms, I approach Gemma. ‘Look, I’m really sorry, but I’ve messed up. Ages ago one of my friends asked me to a barbie this afternoon and just sent a message asking where I’ve got to. I ought to put in an appearance before they pack up.’

‘Oh. That’s a shame.’

‘I’d completely forgotten. Sorry. But it’s been fantastic to have a chance to meet everyone.’

She grins. ‘My sister will say you’re doing a runner to avoid interrogation.’

‘Ha. She might be right.’

Gemma leans in closer. I hear her breath above the humming in my head. ‘But I’ll see you tomorrow, right?’

Laura’s freaked me out so badly that it takes me a moment to remember my next date with Gemma. ‘Of course.’

When I tell Casey it’s time to go, I expect her to argue, but she’s so tired that she’s happy to leave. As we pack up our stuff, I try to avoid being in Laura’s eyeline.

Gemma’s mum gives me a hug, and her dad reaches into his pocket and gives Casey a ten-pound note, and she beams, as much at the gesture as the cash.

She kisses Gemma’s niece and nephew, and Mel, but holds back from doing the same to Laura. Even kids can tell when something – or someone – feels wrong.

Casey turns back towards Gemma. ‘Best day ever,’ she says, her voice sleepy.

‘Thanks for letting us come,’ I say. Immediately I start walking away so fast that Casey struggles to keep up.

‘Oi! Hang on.’

It’s Laura calling after us. Has she seen through me?

As I turn, I promise myself that if I get a reprieve now, I will tell Gemma everything when I see her again tomorrow. It’s what she deserves.

But it’s not Laura shouting after me. It’s her mum. ‘Don’t forget you’ve promised me a vintage Motörhead T-shirt the next time we see you.’

They all laugh, except for Laura, who stares at me as though she is trying to piece together the case for the prosecution.

Casey stumbles and I catch her before she falls, lifting her into my arms. She’s heavier than I expected, but the effort of it means I have something to focus on other than Laura.

But my tinnitus continues for the whole drive home.

Chapter 31: Gemma

Everyone else blurs as they move away. Casey falters, tired out, and she’s about to stumble and—

Before I can call out, Dan’s instinct to protect his daughter kicks in and he scoops her up, as he did when he stopped me from falling. Casey’s body relaxes in his arms, as though she’s a much younger child.

How often has she felt properly protected? Her life revolves around keeping her mum safe and happy, when it should be the other way round. She deserves to be held.