I open the Google home page and crack my knuckles. I need to properly start this assignment from Gill about Millennials choosing pets over motherhood. Let’s start with a broad search. I take a deep breath and type ‘Do Millennials Want Kids?’ into the toolbar.

I love that I’m technically paid a monthly wage to fall down crazy Internet rabbit holes and ask people nosy questions. I love that my Google algorithm has no real idea who ‘Olive’ is, or anything about my personality, as my searches are always related to the varying topics of my articles. My online search quickly leads me to a blog post called ‘Sterilize Me: My Mission to Never Have Kids’ written by a young Millennial woman, who goes by the name of Ariana. No surname, no picture. Her profile is anonymous. But it’s honest and open, as most anonymous-ish blogs go.

Welcome to my blog. I’m Ariana, and I don’t want kids!

[EDIT: You might have seen this blog post get picked by some national news outlets; for any snooping journalists, I am not interested in doing mainstream interviews, or sitting on the sofa next to a certain horrible argumentative man on national TV. I wrote this blog to speak out to other women, I did not do it for online fame.]

I’m 24 years old, and I have been researching ways that I can get sterilized since I was 18. I can’t explain it more simply than this: I know, deep deep in my bones that I never ever want to create another human being. It does not appeal to me, my life, my plans. No one will listen to me! They think I will change my mind! Why? The NHS have said over and over that they won’t perform the operation. The doctors have said no, because I am so young and ‘might change my mind’. But I know I won’t. Also: there’s a strange double standard going on. If you do decide to have kids, you can’t change your mind then, can you! Seems a little one-sided that argument. I feel really unheard right now. And that not wanting kids still feels like a huge awful taboo. The doctors were shocked by my request, and the word got out in the small village where I live, and I have had really horrible notes slid under my door. People are saying that hospital money should be spent on other issues, not my selfish act. Becoming a mother is a very, very serious decision, and so is *not* having them. I wish that I could choose what to do with my own body, and that is to make sure I never have them. Some people are desperate to have kids. I am desperate not to. Please, please, tell me I’m not alone.

@boyo21 Well done for openly admitting that you’re selfish.

@sunshine_girl: I used to feel like this too, Ariana. But, I am 43 now and little Gracey came into my life and I’ve never been happier. I never thought I’d change my mind. Please, don’t rule it out.