‘Iris!’ I kiss her on the cheek.

‘Darling! We meet again.’ She’s wearing a different coloured kaftan this time – with pink and orange swirls. She looks fantastic. I think it’s fake tan, or she’s been away somewhere hot in the time that has passed between now and the CFBC night.

‘I didn’t know you did improv?’

‘Yes, I’m teaching the class! Been a qualified improv teacher for years; I discovered it when I was finding healing practices. Did you know that improv classes are great for helping with anxiety?’

‘Good to know,’ I laugh nervously.

‘I had a break from it but now I’m back. I’m having a whale of a time rediscovering lost parts of myself through different artistic mediums. Improv, open-mic nights, singing, dancing! I’m going to discover poetry-writing classes next. Looks like you’re doing the same, it’s no accident that we meet again! Are you rediscovering yourself?’

‘Rediscovering myself?’

‘Well yes, are you?’

‘I suppose. I recently went through a bad break-up with someone.’

‘Ah. I see. Well, good for you. Most people would be moping around, but here you are! Ready to explore and meet new people and show yourself to the world, you should be proud of yourself. For refusing to let life trample all over you.’ I smile. She doesn’t know that I’ve literally been moping around the house for weeks on end, crying in the bath.

‘Thanks Iris. I’m trying.’

Iris steps back, puts her hand on her heart and clears her throat:

‘The time will come / when, with elation / you will greet yourself arriving / at your own door, in your own mirror / and each will smile at the other’s welcome.’

I stare at her, a little baffled.

‘It’s “Love After Love” by Derek Walcott. Beautiful piece. A reminder to feast on one’s own life. Let go of your guilt, Ol. Women are made to feel guilty for everything. The food we eat, the bodies we have, the relationships that don’t work out. We must accept the challenge and refuse to take on this guilt.’ She is looking me dead in the eyes.

‘Yes, I suppose you’re right,’ I say, slightly confused, but feeling motivated. ‘I’m a newbie to all this,’ I add.

‘Darling, you will be great!’ Iris starts twirling around the room. ‘Just like you were at the CFBC event.’ I glance around the room wondering if anyone heard. It still feels like a swearword to announce that I am a member of the CFBC. But I bet no one here knows what it is anyway.

I find my nerves starting to fade, mainly because I don’t know anyone here. Being surrounded by strangers feels weirdly relaxing. ‘Right!’ Iris claps her hands above her head. ‘Over here! Please, come here and stand in a circle. Thank you! That’s right.’ We all shuffle awkwardly around her. There are about twelve of us. A tall man wearing a checked shirt; a brother and sister (I think twins); a woman with blue hair and several others.