‘Like, we get it, you pushed something out of your vagina, but there are a lot of women out there, making scientific breakthroughs or launching things into space – you know? It’s not actually life’s biggest achievement.’ Koko rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

‘Well … some women are able to launch a rocket into space and have a baby at the same time.’ Bea forces a laugh, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly.

‘You wanna know another reason I don’t want a kid?’ Bea knows she doesn’t need to consent to an answer; Koko is going to tell her anyway. ‘You see, I have a lot of money … I really don’t want to sound like I’m showing off about it, but you know, I live in a really nice part of London and I’ve worked for it. Born to working-class parents, I have grafted away and my artwork has been selling and I’ve managed to make my first mill. And you know, I’m worried that my kid would grow up to be spoilt and awful.’

‘Oh, you can’t think like that!’ Bea says.

‘Do you know what I mean though? Rich people’s kids end up being really terrible. Like that famous chef. You know the one. Have you seen his son? Tattoos, drugs, the lot. Really, if you have money, your kids will most likely be awful human beings.’

Colin bursts out laughing. Bea glares at him. We can’t blow our cover.

‘It’s a very interesting … observation,’ Bea says, diplomatically. What she means to say is: you are generalizing, and you also sound totally mad. ‘But I think that kids can totally transform a life – they can actually pull you out of the depths of your own issues and give you a whole new perspective. They are cute as babies, and then they can grow up to be your best mates.’ Bea’s eyes glaze over with love.

Koko slowly backs away. ‘Right. It was, er, nice meeting you. Must dash to the bathroom.’ She practically legs it. Bea turns to Colin and me, smirking.

Iris starts tapping the mic then. ‘Right everyone! Attention please! Next speaker!’

A woman with a beautiful multicoloured scarf round her head and shimmering, flawless make-up steps onto the stage.

‘I am here because I have chosen not to bring a baby into the world for many reasons – the main one of them being that I don’t want my relationship to suffer. I love my husband; we have a fantastic life together. We truly believe that with children in the mix our lives would change too much and that it could impact negatively on our very loving and happy relationship. I know that might sound bleak, but I think it’s important to protect a good relationship when you have one. My husband and I, we want to prioritize each other. I hear all these horror stories of people no longer having time for their partner, or they just don’t feel like they can love each other and love their kids. I don’t know, maybe these stories have got to me a bit! But I’d rather not risk it. My relationship with him is too important to me. Thanks for listening.’