‘Hello. I’m Dee. I think that the Internet as it is – and how it is evolving – is fucking terrifying. Sorry, Iris – I’m allowed to swear, aren’t I?’

Iris hollers back from the crowd: ‘Yes – please do!’ Colin puts his hands up too and shouts, ‘Woop!’

‘So yeah, social media. Do I really want my kid growing up in a world where kids are exposed to porn before they even go to secondary school, and have the dangers of privacy issues and information leaks before they even hit puberty? The environment that kids are forced to grow up in today is absolutely despicable. I don’t want to bring someone into this horrible shallow world, with all this data hacking, privacy issues, trolls, robots!’

‘I’m going to get another drink,’ Bea whispers loudly to me. ‘Want another gin?’

Colin and I nod and hand over our empty glasses. A night like tonight certainly demands a good amount of social lubricant to get us through.

Bea waits at the bar and a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, arm tattoos, a nose-piercing and a bandana around her neck perches on the barstool next to her.

‘Omg, look, Bea’s getting chatted up,’ Colin says. We both giggle and sidestep towards them in unison so we can listen in on their conversation.

‘First time here?’ the blonde woman asks, looking Bea up and down.

‘Yes, actually, enjoying it so far though,’ Bea says, politely.

‘I’m Koko,’ the blonde woman says and puts out her hand.

‘Bea.’ They shake hands.

‘Nice to meet you, Bea. What brings you here, then?’ Koko asks, swigging on her bottle of Corona.

‘Oh, you know … wanting to be around some like-minded women! Feels like it’s become increasingly hard to find that,’ Bea says.

‘Oh man, same.’

‘So, no kids for you then, ever?’

‘Nope. I cannot stand the idea of having anyone running around depending on me twenty-four/seven. Imagine!’

‘God, same,’ Bea rolls her eyes. The barwoman slides three gins across the bar towards Bea. ‘Thanks.’

‘When did you know, really know, that you didn’t want to be a mother?’ Koko asks, leaning in.

Bea nearly chokes, swallowing her drink too quickly. ‘Oh, immediately! From birth! Never felt the urge, to be honest.’ Bea scrunches her face up into a ball. She is clearly hoping that Koko can’t magically see into her brain and realize that she has birthed three children whom she absolutely loves more than anything else in the world.

‘I find most mothers to be rather irritating. Very holier-than-thou,’ Koko says, making intense eye contact with Bea.

‘Oh, agreed.’ Bea brushes her fringe out of her eyes awkwardly.

‘The worst. Like, who cares about your little bundle of joy? Mothers become so self-absorbed once they have kids. They turn their back on everything else. Their friends, their own health, their own dreams. It’s so, so sad,’ Koko says, picking at her beaded bracelet on her tattooed wrist.

‘So sad!’ Bea agrees, glancing over at Colin and me.