To be her sister, you have to accept her ways. Once she was a devout believer, then a strong supporter of free elections, and later she turned into a vegetarian. After Father’s death, she put away all these beliefs. She no longer followed any ideas. For a long time she became indifferent. But being indifferent was hard work for her. Having any kind of commitment was unbearable for her if you wanted to get close to her.

Shahla says, “I can’t watch TV. All my attention is on those wet legs. I can’t put on makeup, and the room does not smell good even after using all that soap and perfume. Sometimes I want to throw everything away.”

That’s what she did with the basement. One day, she brought in a secondhand buyer and gave away all the furniture. Against Maman’s protests, she gave the trunks to the neighborhood thrift shop and replaced them with metal shelves. She mounted them on top of Father’s bed, which had been moved to the basement. She arranged Father’s medications on the shelves. The basement looked like a makeshift hospital in a war zone. Then she bought an air freshener and sprayed it on the door every day, as if she were writing dangerous graffiti.

“Our bathroom is right by the kitchen in full view of everybody.”

As if I have not seen her house.

“Where the TV is and it’s impossible not to see who is leaving the bathroom.”

She shuddered as if she were disgusted with something. Her body shivered for a moment.

“Old age is a bad thing. I want to live only as long as I have control over my body and can come out of the bathroom dry and decent.”

Shahla opens the bathroom door and looks inside with interest. “Have you noticed in the bathroom where the hose for cleaning yourself is, and how accessible it is? Even a child can easily wash himself, let alone a grown-up.”

I nod and realize that I have never given a thought to the hose in the bathroom in all my life.

Shahla says that the door to our bathroom is not like theirs. That although their door is very fancy, it is narrow and makes it difficult to get in and out. She turns her face and her double chin toward me and says, “I can’t take it anymore. Maman knows it too. I’ve had it.”

Chapter 31

31

Maman says, “I can’t take it anymore.”

She could not put up with Father.

Father did not want to be confined in the basement anymore. He wanted to get out. “I want to go and buy one of those tall black things.”

Mahin says, “I will buy you a Coke.”

“No, I have to go there myself.”

“Where is there?”