Amir does not know that I cheat on him a hundred times a day; when his underwear is left in the middle of the room, just as he took it off. When, at a party, he is so involved that he does not notice me. When he is finished eating and realizes he didn’t wait for us, when he thinks of me as the reason for his failures, when he praises another woman in front of me, when he can enjoy everything all by himself. When he leaves me alone, I cheat on him. Sometimes I get discouraged, and I repent. I return from where I was going and put my fingers through his hair. He bends his head so my fingers fall to his neck. “What is going on?”

I yell at him, “See, when I don’t show affection, you ask what is going on, and when I do, again you ask the same thing.”

He doesn’t know that I cheat on him a hundred times a day. I leave this life a hundred times a day. Like a terrified woman who has never left home. Gently, slowly, and quietly, even though scared to death, I secretly go to places that Amir cannot even imagine. Then, in a dark night like tonight, I return home to Amir, as a regretful woman who has repented.

Chapter 14

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Shahin is sent to the backyard. He will come in only when he has understood that even if he does not like his sweats, he has to wear them and not run around the house naked.

Two hours have passed and Shahin has not figured out yet that he is not a prince. He is the child of a family with many limitations.

Amir leans his head against the window looking at the backyard and says, “Do I like to get up in the dark every morning and go to that dreadful place? Do I like to obey the person who is called my boss but doesn’t understand a thing?” Amir has remembered again all the things he doesn’t like in this life.

If only Shahin nodded in agreement, he could come in and eat dinner. But instead he hollers from out there, “I will not wear those sweats.”

Amir holds up the sweats.

“Are they torn or old?”

Shahin says, “I don’t like the color.”

Shadi brings another pair.

Shahin yells out, “I don’t like the style.”

Amir holds his head. “Too bad!”

Shahin has issues with his shoes, with his shirt, with his wristwatch, with his hair.

Shadi screams, “Well, he doesn’t like it. You can’t force him, leave him alone.”

Amir goes to the backyard, grabs Shahin by the shoulders, and picks him up.

I gently say, “Let go of him.”

Shadi yells, “Leave him alone.”

Amir leaves him alone and sits down at the dinner table. By now the food is cold, and nobody wants to eat.

Chapter 15

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