Back Kick the Latch
Chapters (92)
  1. KICK THE LATCH
  2. ONE
  3. SOLID PLASTER
  4. THE OLD MAN
  5. IT WASN’T HIS FAULT
  6. MILK BONES
  7. BICYCLE JENNY
  8. TWO
  9. THE JOCKEY
  10. THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE
  11. BANG!
  12. I HAD MY SPILLS
  13. MY PAINT HORSE
  14. KIND OF FUNNY, A REAL CLOWN, AN ORNERY SON OF A BUCK
  15. THREE
  16. A LITTLE WIND-UP CLOCK
  17. SHORT-IRON
  18. DIRT TRACK, FLAT LAND, RAMSHACKLE BACKSTRETCH
  19. I WOULDN’T BARELY BREAK
  20. NOTHING NICE
  21. KEY TO THE QUARTER POLE
  22. GALLON OF BLOOD
  23. NUTS AND BOLTS
  24. BIG OLD HOLE
  25. I SEEN HIM EVERY DAY
  26. FOUR
  27. PICKLED BOILED EGGS
  28. THANKSGIVING
  29. ENOUGH
  30. CALL YOUR OWNERS, CALL HOME
  31. HAMBURGERS
  32. OUR PERSONAL ATTITUDES
  33. FIVE
  34. I OUTGREW THE POSITION
  35. THEY GET CHILLY
  36. THIS JOCK PACKS, THAT JOCK PACKS
  37. GRANDSTANDING
  38. BLACK SHOE POLISH
  39. SIX
  40. EVERYTHING MYSELF
  41. WASHED, BATHED, GOOD CARE
  42. YOU CHECK IT, YOU SHAKE IT
  43. A THOUSAND POUNDS OF PRESSURE
  44. WE’RE HUNGRY!
  45. STRAIGHT OFF THE GOAT
  46. SEVEN
  47. I KNOW WHAT I KNOW
  48. THEY GET THEIR HEADS JERKED OFF
  49. I THINK YOU’LL BE SAD
  50. BOBBLE, BOBBLE
  51. YOU CAN’T BLAME A MAN
  52. THIS HORSE, THIS RACE
  53. EIGHT
  54. RACETRACKERS
  55. FANCY SUITS, FANCY BOOTS
  56. PAUPER’S HILL
  57. THE OLD LADY
  58. JAKE THE PRINCE
  59. C’MON, CHARLIE!
  60. THE BIG DRINK
  61. WHERE’S THORBY?
  62. MIRACLE PERSON
  63. HE WAS LIVING HIGH
  64. I DIDN’T WANT NO DRAMA
  65. NINE
  66. THE RODEO STUNT
  67. HUNTERS AND JUMPERS
  68. TEN
  69. I WAS GIVEN A CHOICE
  70. THEY’D RATHER HAVE THE PISS
  71. STOP MY WORLD, LADY!
  72. STUPID CAMERAS, BIG LIGHTS
  73. GRAB THAT THING
  74. MILLIONS
  75. IT WAS HARD LIVING
  76. I TRIED TO BE A NORMAL PERSON
  77. THE HORSE TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE
  78. ELEVEN
  79. MISTER BAKER
  80. THIS SUCKER
  81. WITH THE MEN
  82. LA VEDETTE
  83. HER BLACK MOUSTACHE
  84. BLONDE, CUTE, BIG DIMPLES
  85. TWELVE
  86. ONAKONA
  87. BAD WEATHER OR NOT
  88. IT AIN’T LIKE A CAT
  89. PERENNIALS
  90. REMEMBER THIS?
  91. A PARTICULAR LANGUAGE
  92. AFTERWORD

Why is this horse backing up? Why is this horse not running like she used to? What happened here? The trainer watches the race replays again and again. The trainer has to figure it out. There’s always puzzlers. Just when you think you know a lot about a horse he’ll show you how stupid you really are.

You study the film to learn about the other horses, too. Some like to go to the front and they have enough staying power to close. Others like to come off the pace, come from behind. Some come on the inside. Some don’t like to be on the rail.

The best trainers work with what the horse wants to do. You want to see them bounce off the track, swinging their tail. You want a happy horse at the front of its stall, popping its head up, talking to you, nickering, cleaning up its feed.

You watch their ears — are they perked, happy? Pinned back, pissed off? Look at their eyes. A dog can have pleading eyes, begging eyes — it wants a biscuit. You look at a horse’s eyes — are they bright, alert? Or does it have a dull eye?

You see a horse at the back of its stall — that’s not good. That horse is starting to get sour.

THEY GET THEIR HEADS JERKED OFF

It’ll happen that an owner wants to see his horse run — don’t matter there’s no race written for him. He’s in town for the weekend and wants to show off to his friends. So he pushes the trainer to put a horse worth two thousand in a race for eight. The horse is outclassed. It’s going to get its head jerked off.

When a horse runs where he don’t belong, he runs dead last. You do it often enough, he starts to feel like a loser. He gets depressed. He’s sore and broke down because he’s running so hard to keep up with the better horses. Pretty soon he develops a sour attitude and stops eating.

To build the horse’s confidence back up, you pet him aggressively on the neck — Oh, good boy! You go overboard with the petting and hugging. He starts to think better of himself.

In morning workouts, you pick three companions and go head-to-head on the track at a gallop. When you give the signal, the other riders let you pull forward. It’s like a fixed race. Your sour horse gets a burst of winning feeling. You do it again and again, and after a while, the horse gets his heart pumped back up.

I THINK YOU’LL BE SAD

Director Dean — he was fathered by Charlie Stut, Doctor Stut, a really good horse, an old class horse, a fifty, sixty thousand dollar horse.