I shrug, trying to act casual about it. ‘Call it what you want. I guess I didn’t want to forget.’

In truth, all I want to do is forget about it. I’m happy as I am.

OK, I’m not happy as I am, but in the cold, sober light of day I don’t see how exposing myself to other people is going to make me any happier. I wish I’d drunk less last night. If I’d drunk less, I wouldn’t have made any pathetic and pointless intentions.

‘What is that noise?’

‘I put an alarm on to let me know when my pancakes would be ready.’ He nods at me as if he assumes I will be proud of this plan.

I roll my eyes in response. ‘Of course you did.’

We get down to the breakfast room and Peter makes a beeline for one of the kitchen ladies, who scuttles away as soon as she sees him and returns with a stack of pancakes and a huge smile on her face. He has a way of bringing out the best in people. It’s infuriating.

‘Oddly Bodley up to his old tricks, eh?’

I turn to see David and his heavily pregnant wife next to me. David was Peter’s housemate at university. He’s nice enough, but is currently standing closer to me than I would like. He’s always been one of those people who doesn’t understand the concept of personal space.

Still, I smile politely before sitting down. ‘Some things never change, I guess.’

With a full plate and no shame, Peter takes his place next to me and gives me one of his pancakes. Sure, there were some initial teething problems in our friendship, namely his extraordinary intelligence, as well as a very posh accent that proved a little tricky to understand, but his character quirks made him instantly approachable. Unlike me, he sits solidly in the extrovert camp, and sometimes I worry I rely on his shield too much. If this were a rom-com, he’d be some weird kind of knight in shining armour.

‘So, how are you going to go about dating?’

All eyes turn to me and my kind thoughts about Peter flip. I have never hated him so much in my life. I don’t want my pathetic resolution announced to the world. If it’s announced to the world, I’ll be less likely to be able to forget about it, like all New Year’s resolutions should be. And I especially don’t want it announced in this world that is full of perfect people in perfect relationships.

‘Oh, I … I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t really thought about it.’ This is not a lie. I don’t think my head will be capable of thinking for a while.

But as soon as these words are uttered, a myriad of unsolicited advice comes my way. Advice from people I’ve never known be single.

‘Only hang out with single people!’

‘No, only hang out with married people.’

‘Only wear heels – I heard they give people more confidence.’