She comes trotting over to me.

‘Hey, bug. You having a nice birthday party?’

She thinks before she answers. ‘Yes.’ It sounds more like a question. ‘But I worry that one day I won’t have as much fun at my birthday parties. By the time we are old, like Mummy and Daddy, we will have lots of worries and the worries will spoil the fun. Do you still have fun at your birthday parties?’

Where does she come up with this stuff? But then when I try to remember the last birthday party I had fun at, I come up blank.

I can’t lie to her. ‘I know lots of people who still have lots of fun at their birthday parties. But I do think that the amount of fun you have is in exact relation to the amount of cake you eat. So I think you need more cake.’ And with that we wander off on a hunt for sponge.

Later, safe in the quiet of the kitchen, Mum comes in, Hugo closely following behind.

‘Bea, you shouldn’t be cleaning up.’ She says this while adding a load of dirty plates to the pile.

‘I’ll wash if you dry.’

She nods and grabs a tea towel.

‘I’ve put your card and present by your bag. I hope you like them. You can change them if not. The gift receipt is in there.’

‘Thanks, Mum.’ I bet she’s given me yoga pants. Luckily it’s now acceptable to wear them to many different occasions. I hope they’re the type with pockets.

‘I think this year is going to be a good one for you, Bea. You seem happier today than you’ve seemed recently. Your eyes look less tired.’

I know she means this as a compliment. At least, this is what I tell myself.

‘Thanks, Mum.’ I don’t say anything more, but I do pass her a plate to dry, whilst quietly hoping her premonition comes true.

CHAPTER 23

Peter! Guess what!

Today I got accepted into an independent art fair, and at a discounted rate because someone had to pull out at the last minute.

It’s only a small step, but it’s a small step in the right direction and it feels pretty good.

I text Peter to share the good news. After all, it was his help that got me here. I also type out a message to Mia, as her pushing got me here too, but then I delete it. It doesn’t seem like the right time.

Peter’s reply comes less than five minutes later.

Want help?

Yes, yes I do.

Part of the new business plan was to get my cards out there. So I emailed a whole load of potential stockists, sent sample cards to trendy cafes, and applied to sell my wares at craft shows. I even dropped some cards on the underground, hoping it might cause a stir. It didn’t (at least not yet).

My efforts didn’t amount to much. I got a lot of rejections. More rejections than I knew what to do with. Craft and art fairs were already full or far too expensive. Cafes thought the cards were cute, but said they didn’t currently sell anything other than coffee (but if that changed they’d let me know). Shops didn’t have any more space, but would get back in touch again come their January stock review. I thought the rejections would make me feel worse than they have, but they’ve actually been quite kind as rejections go; most people have even said how much they like the cards.