‘It does look rather restrictive. But it’s nice to see you in something other than black or grey.’

‘Hey. Wearing monochrome is easier both from a washing perspective and a fashion perspective.’

I am about to launch into part two (possibly three?) of the tirade against the dress, but have to quickly steel my face when Mia appears seemingly out of nowhere, which is no small feat considering her skirt is the width of four people.

‘Mia! You OK? Do you need anything? Can I do something?’ I really hope she didn’t hear anything I just said, because in truth I would be her maid of honour any time she asked. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat, and be genuinely happy to do so.

She smiles and turns to Peter, leaving me clueless and increasingly sweaty from the anxiety. I try to hide my awkwardness by paying more attention to my drink than it really deserves.

‘Peter! Thank you so much for coming. I hope you’re having a good time? I put you on the table with my fun cousins.’

‘Ah yes, they were very welcoming, thank you.’

‘Good – I thought you would all get on.’ She does then turn to me. ‘Could you fix my hair? I keep getting poked by a pin.’

To me, she looks perfect – she always does – but I nod, un-slouch, put down my now-empty glass and get ready to clock back in. Game-face on.

‘Right, well, I think that’s my cue to go get a restorative bacon sandwich.’ Peter kisses her on the cheek, smiles at both of us and heads back towards our wider group of university friends who have gathered around the snack table. Not quite an introvert or an extrovert, I only have the energy to maintain strong friendships with a limited number of people. Mia and Peter are the chosen two from my university days.

‘Is it just me or has Peter scrubbed up really well this evening?’ Mia sounds unsure.

‘It’s just you.’

‘No, really. Once you get past the eclectic wardrobe, he really is quite good-looking.’

‘Peter?’

‘Yes, Peter.’

I look over and catch him just as his larger-than-life laugh booms out of him. It’s so innocent and genuine. He’s speaking to someone who’s not known for their humour. I can’t imagine the joke warranted the laugh, but Peter is a generous soul.

‘I’ve never thought about it.’ This is a slight lie. Whenever we used to play ‘Kiss, Marry, Dismiss’ at university, Peter would always be in my ‘Marry’ column. He’s the type of handsome that you would want to grow old with. But these games were just games. Hypotheticals. Unlike my current issue: Mia’s hair.

I stare at her hair for a while and try to remain calm. There are so many pins. Which one is sticking into her? They all look like they’re sticking into her. I take out a pin and hold it between my lips for safekeeping, then mumble on. ‘The idea of dating a friend is not one that appeals.’ And I should know. There’s too much risk, too much potential for heartbreak. Besides, ‘Stop looking at men that aren’t your husband.’