I find myself tentatively reaching for him until we’re close enough that I swear I can feel his body against mine, even though I know we’re not actually touching.

And just like when my words have a habit of failing me right when I need them most, I freeze when I should really keep moving.

But in the end, it doesn’t matter because Peter keeps moving.

He moves one hand to my waist, and one hand to my cheek.

He moves me gently, but firmly, towards him.

And finally, finally, he leans down to kiss me.

I am vaguely aware of meeting him halfway, but I’m mainly aware that the kiss is (eyebrows raised) good.

I smile at my own stupid internal thoughts and accidentally break the kiss sooner than I would have liked.

‘Bea? Everything all right?’

‘You know I’m probably going to fuck this up, don’t you?’

He nods. ‘Yes.’

OK.

Acknowledgements

This book might have my name on the front cover, but a whole bunch of other names deserve to be there. However, that would mess up the beautiful design, so instead I will thank you here …

My very first thank-you goes to Rebecca Ritchie (Becky! Holly!) at AM Heath. No words do justice to how grateful I am that you decided to take me on and put up with my emails and animal-print clothing. Thank you so much for believing in me and always being a positive force. And really, really thank you for only making me climb that staircase once.

To the whole team at Transworld – it is an absolute dream come true to work with such a dedicated, passionate and skilled group of people. When this book was a tiny seedling of a thought, I secretly wished you guys would pick it up. And then you did! I am so glad that nobody was around to see that particular happy dance, but thank you for making this very dear wish come true. To Darcy, my original editor and burrata-eating-enabler, who gave me some very key pointers (‘Does Bea have to wear onesies quite so much?’); I really hope your leaving had nothing to do with me . To Molly, who valiantly took up the cause after Darcy left (for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with me, I’m sure), thank you for being such a supporter of Bea and I am so grateful that you like my lists! To Frankie, I knew that one day our paths would cross again – to this day you are still my favourite desk buddy. Thanks also to (deep inhale of breath): Larry, Judith, Josh, Holly, Katie, Hayley, Hannah, Deidre and Jo! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Of course, this book would be nowhere without my friends – you guys rock. I can’t list you all, but all of you give me joy and happiness (and in some cases inspiration). A few special mentions …